FAITH NOT FEAR (conclusion- akaThank You God!)

     "There is nothing there," were the words that articulated out of the mouth of a wonderful doctor named Perrico at the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center.  After going through a second mammogram and ultra-sound, this was his findings. And with one utterance from the doctor, I knew life could really begin.  Besides my boys telling me they love me, these words were truly the sweetest thing I had ever heard.

      What a journey this has been. I am so overjoyed and full of gratitude. There are genuinely no words to describe the conclusion of this heart-wrenching, emotionally draining, positively life-altering journey I had been on recently during this time of my life. Possibly facing a situation that means you could perhaps be dealing with your own immortality makes your daily outlook on life a more meaningful experience. The way that I viewed life before is conceivably not the way I view life now.

     The most knowledgeable staff I had ever been around took great care of me from beginning to the end.  From Amy, the very caring and compassionate nurse to the most personable and knowledgeable and "easy on the eyes" (lol) Dr. Perrico, a very difficult experience was made easier by their caring nature.   Also meeting Jill Townshend the Breast Health Navigator who is very sincere about her work as well as Juli Dulay the manager of the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center who did a wonderful intake with me was an added bonus to this experience. Meeting James Schultis the president of the HMHP devleopment foundation (who raises funding and dontations)  to whom much of the gratitude is also owed.  With that being said, the icing on the the cake was meeting Dr. Rashid Abdu the visionary himself.  

     The beauty of the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center facility itself was second to none.   The calm color of brown and soft blue hues and the warming granite around the facility made the experience feel even more like a home setting instead of a hospital setting. 

      Although this was my positive diagnosis, soon after, very heavy on my heart was the many women who did not or will not receive the same positive report as myself.  Working at Hospice for many years, I have seen the very worst of these situations.  Never taking for granted these women who are diagnosed frequently with breast cancer and fight a war with their lives was someones beloved mother, wonderful sister, dedicated daughter and loyal friend .  I realized over those years working at Hospice, that God doesn't love the well anymore than he loved the sick. Breast cancer or any other illness was no respecter of person, dreams, color or socio-economic status. 

     Bearing all of these things in mind,  I now urge every woman to advocate for other women who suffers from breast cancer. I persuade all women to support each other in making other's conscious of educational awareness tips like those that Dr. Perrico discussed with me; monthly self-exams and routines yearly check-ups. Also do not be afraid to get a second opinion just like I had received.  

    The tears I cried on this journey is nothing compared to the depth of joy in knowing I was given another chance to get things right in my life.  My first novel will be published next month, my boys are happy and excited about their new adventure in life. No matter where this life will take us, most of all I can now say it is faith not fear that will ultimately sustain us all!  Peace and Blessings until next time.

FAITH NOT FEAR (continued)

 

     While working at HMHP St. Elizabeth Hospital Health facility over the last several years, many additional services were added to help enhance their network of health care options to assist the community in their needs.  One of those facilities however is playing even more of a vital role in my life as well as the community at large. The Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center was created to improving services to women in Youngstown, Oh and surrounding areas.

     Joanie Abdu was a head RN at the facility for many years. Being diagnosed with and succumbing to  breast cancer, her husband Dr. Rashid Abdu dedicated his life to eliminating many of the hurdles they endured while navigating through her breast cancer treatments. Struggles for a woman diagnosed with breast cancer like long waits, or even longer trips to an out of town facility can cause many delays in their treatment and waste precious time for much needed services.

     I can tell you by first-hand experience the shortened-time for patients to seek efficient care at the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center had been at least fourteen days earlier than a prior appointment made. Waiting has never been a desired tactic when your life is concerned.  However,  I called today and they made an appointment for me very soon. My first appointment at a different facility was on June 4th. It averages out to about two weeks difference versus another facilities appointment. Out of the many people we can thank for this along with HMHP,  Dr. Rashid Abdu is top of my list along with the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive  Breast Care Center's wonderful staff!

     I will continue to document this journey I entitled, "Faith Not Fear" to help advocate for and provide information to any other women who must go on this journey. Having continued faith in God as well as those who God appoints to take care of their community is vital in this faith journey. I pray that if you ever wanted to support a cause, the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center located in Youngstown, Ohio is the best of it's kind. Peace and blessings until next time!!!

     To find out more about the Joanie Abdu Comprehensive Breast Care Center, please see link below. http://www.hmpartners.org/joanieabdu_about.aspx

FAITH NOT FEAR

 

                                                                           

      I desired to be an advocate writing for women's issues.   For some reason life keeps thrusting me into a plethora of  interesting subjects to reflect on as an outlet to continually help other women.  My latest is being told today I have a mass in my right breast very passively by a doctor who after a little speech, of how I need a biopsy, never came back in the room.  " WOW!", I thought.  This cannot be happening after all that I had been through.

    

      Any woman who has ever been on this journey is very much in tune to how devastating this process can be.  A million thoughts can race through your mind.  First and foremost, women often think about their children.  After the initial shock and onset of tears and a quick ride on the "emotional roller coaster of your life" you come to a conclusion it's truly faith not fear that will take you through this journey.  I had a feeling of peace come over me today after my initial shock.  Not once, but twice or more did I receive a peace that surpassed all understanding.  A feeling that everything would be okay.  God's Holy Spirit took control and made everything clear that this too would be well. 

    The most simplistic definition of faith is a belief that is not based on proof.  Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6 both states if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains.  I know I have complete trust in God through Jesus to help me make it through whatever I have to learn on this journey. I just would like to inspire other woman to always trust and keep the faith no matter what you are told.  Having faith and not fear is the only way to make it through any struggle that life can drum up.

     I was going to keep this to myself and not disclose it because of  the stigma of women and breast cancer.  A big portion of our self-esteem as women is tied to our breast.  They are a big part of our sexuality. However, I was ordained to be transparent and  enhance women's lives.  That is exactly what I am going to do by sharing my story. I am going to document my path to help someone along the way.    As for treatment, I will have a biopsy done soon. Usually, these tumors are benign (non-cancerous).  See God is showing himself faithful to me already!!!

     As a writer, writer's-block can come upon any creative individual at any time.  This had been happening to me, quite often recently.  However, there is something called life which makes your creative flow,  undoubtedly the most surreal, inspirational experience ever. You see, since I was a child I always wanted to become a prolific writer.  I begged and pleaded with God to get me out of my 9-5 and let me become successful as a writer.  And he did!!! Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it!!!Peace and Blessings until next time.  

   

"KEEP IT MOVING"

     As I prepare to embark on the journey of my life with the release of my first book,  I just would like to encourage women especially, no matter what keep life moving.  Don't let anything or anyone stop you from accomplishing your goals and dreams.  

     Life can be so harsh and cruel. Most times we are so broken from our experiences that we just give up.  However, we always have to keep it moving.  Meaning we have to continue to move forward and not become stagnant in life for any reason.   

     My book is entitled, "The Yellow Legacies."  It is about my experiences growing up as a child and situations I witnessed in my family home.  The color of the house was yellow.   However,  I actually wrote this in 2006.  Because of life's circumstances my dreams and desires were put on the back burner. I was so broken I had lost all hope in becoming a published author.  However, emerging from my situation recently as a much stronger individual, I now see the solution to many of my life circumstances.  It is simply when you feel like you have no more strength to go on, you must just place one foot in front of the other.   You must at all cost never stop striving for yourself and your children.   

     My next book is called, "The Purple Legacies."  An 8 Year Journey Through Emotional Abuse and How to Overcome.   My book is called,  "The Purple Legacies" because my favorite color is purple.   You see, purple in ancient times represented the finest and highest quality of material.  Anything consisting of the color purple was so expensive to make, only Kings and Queens could afford it.  Therefore, it represented a sign of royalty.  Everything in my kitchen in those nine awful years of my life were purple. My microwave,  toaster,  dishes,  pots and pans and even curtains and rugs all were a decorative purple.  No matter what hell I was put through anywhere else in the house, when I walked into my kitchen I was reminded that regardless of the negative situation I was still royalty. I was still a queen although I was not being treated like one.  It was the only thing that truly kept me going at times.

     Ecclesiastes 9:11 states,  For the race is not given to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but the one who endures to the end.  Simply put, "Keep it Moving!"  Peace and Blessings until next time. 

MY TWO TRAYVON'S

The Trayvon Martin case has touched and or shocked each one of us. No matter who you are, you have been mentally or emotionally affected by the Trayvon Martin case. It has truly been a tragedy dramatically unfolding before our very eyes ever since we were made present of the gunshot heard around the world on February 26^th.

This case however affected me on a more personal level. I am a single mom with two boys, sixteen and nine years-old. Ever since this awful, heartbreaking story has come to light, I have been basically in mourning for not only Trayvon and his family, but also in mourning for the possible future of my children also, if society does not change it's views on minority males.

Every day when I look at my boys I wake up with a hopeful sense of reassurance they will grow up and be at the very least a positive, productive citizen in society. The fact is, this is the United States of America. We are a free nation where each person has a potential for greatness. I know being an African-american male, odds are already stacked against them. Whatever the case may be, there is a sense of hope when they wake up in the morning. There is a promising, optimistic chance they will be successful in life.

However, I now see that the hunt is on now more than ever before! The hunt was on for Trayvon and the hunt is on for my two boys also! They may never get a chance to live the life they deserve to live freely and fully because they are the prey. The fear of African-American males in society and the idealism of how they are portrayed beyond a shadow of a doubt are the predators. This beautiful, handsome young man Trayvon Martin, in the famous words of President Obama, “does look like my sons!” I recognized and always realized that “my two Trayvon’s” will now be scrutinized regardless of their accomplishments forevermore. I now know that "my two Trayvon’s" has even a lesser chance than what I originally thought to live “The Complete American Dream”. However, I thank God I am placing "my two Trayvon’s" in His hands and not just America’s hands!

Until next time Peace and Blessings!!!

EVICTION NOTICE OF THE HEAD AND HEART

EVICTION NOTICE OF THE HEAD AND HEART!!

This is for everyone whomever needed to give anyone an eviction notice of the head and heart due to a relationship ending!

My marriage of eight years recently ended after years of enduring mental and emotional abuse. Last year was such a year of complete transition for me. Unfortunately, you learn that transition can be beastly. However, no one else around you seems to get the memo! I felt broken down and defeated. I felt anesthetized and exhausted. Often times the appearance was that nobody actually cared. It appeared that life was to just go on as normal as can be. However, in my world nothing was normal. The pain in my spirit and soul had manifested itself into a long drawn out process that I just did not want to partake in.

So what did I do? I moved out of my house, quit my job and relocated my boys and I to another city! Did all of this rearranging my life after a failed relationship work? Not at first! The reason simply is that I tried to run from the problem, instead of facing the problem head on. I can tell you the best advice ever given to me in my entire life is that running never accomplishes anything. Why? Because the person we are running from is ultimately inside of ourselves buried deep in our head and heart. Until you come to terms with this aspect of a broken relationship ending, they will always be wherever you go!

Therefore, it was only one possible solution to this problem. Giving an eviction notice to my head and heart is what utterly brought me to a healing process. Now if you have ever suffered emotional abuse by anyone you know what long term scars and effects it has on oneself. The mental and emotional scars are long lasting and very burdensome. However, giving someone that much power over myself was the first mistake I made.

Now in turn, since I gave them power, I now had to give them an eviction notice because they were still taking up space in my head and heart. Since I let them move in, I had to throw them out. This eviction notice process consisted of just a period of ceasing! Ceasing all contact. Ceasing all negative thoughts of how I could not make it on my own. Ceasing all feelings of any kind toward them. Concentrating on God, my boys and myself.

Fast forward to 2012. What a difference a year makes! Which I now can inform you life is wonderfully beautiful! Please if you don't do anything else for yourselves this year, please hand out a couple of eviction notices of the head and heart to someone this year. Tell them to vacate the premises immediately!

Until next time, peace and blessings!