MY TWO TRAYVON'S

The Trayvon Martin case has touched and or shocked each one of us. No matter who you are, you have been mentally or emotionally affected by the Trayvon Martin case. It has truly been a tragedy dramatically unfolding before our very eyes ever since we were made present of the gunshot heard around the world on February 26^th.

This case however affected me on a more personal level. I am a single mom with two boys, sixteen and nine years-old. Ever since this awful, heartbreaking story has come to light, I have been basically in mourning for not only Trayvon and his family, but also in mourning for the possible future of my children also, if society does not change it's views on minority males.

Every day when I look at my boys I wake up with a hopeful sense of reassurance they will grow up and be at the very least a positive, productive citizen in society. The fact is, this is the United States of America. We are a free nation where each person has a potential for greatness. I know being an African-american male, odds are already stacked against them. Whatever the case may be, there is a sense of hope when they wake up in the morning. There is a promising, optimistic chance they will be successful in life.

However, I now see that the hunt is on now more than ever before! The hunt was on for Trayvon and the hunt is on for my two boys also! They may never get a chance to live the life they deserve to live freely and fully because they are the prey. The fear of African-American males in society and the idealism of how they are portrayed beyond a shadow of a doubt are the predators. This beautiful, handsome young man Trayvon Martin, in the famous words of President Obama, “does look like my sons!” I recognized and always realized that “my two Trayvon’s” will now be scrutinized regardless of their accomplishments forevermore. I now know that "my two Trayvon’s" has even a lesser chance than what I originally thought to live “The Complete American Dream”. However, I thank God I am placing "my two Trayvon’s" in His hands and not just America’s hands!

Until next time Peace and Blessings!!!

EVICTION NOTICE OF THE HEAD AND HEART

EVICTION NOTICE OF THE HEAD AND HEART!!

This is for everyone whomever needed to give anyone an eviction notice of the head and heart due to a relationship ending!

My marriage of eight years recently ended after years of enduring mental and emotional abuse. Last year was such a year of complete transition for me. Unfortunately, you learn that transition can be beastly. However, no one else around you seems to get the memo! I felt broken down and defeated. I felt anesthetized and exhausted. Often times the appearance was that nobody actually cared. It appeared that life was to just go on as normal as can be. However, in my world nothing was normal. The pain in my spirit and soul had manifested itself into a long drawn out process that I just did not want to partake in.

So what did I do? I moved out of my house, quit my job and relocated my boys and I to another city! Did all of this rearranging my life after a failed relationship work? Not at first! The reason simply is that I tried to run from the problem, instead of facing the problem head on. I can tell you the best advice ever given to me in my entire life is that running never accomplishes anything. Why? Because the person we are running from is ultimately inside of ourselves buried deep in our head and heart. Until you come to terms with this aspect of a broken relationship ending, they will always be wherever you go!

Therefore, it was only one possible solution to this problem. Giving an eviction notice to my head and heart is what utterly brought me to a healing process. Now if you have ever suffered emotional abuse by anyone you know what long term scars and effects it has on oneself. The mental and emotional scars are long lasting and very burdensome. However, giving someone that much power over myself was the first mistake I made.

Now in turn, since I gave them power, I now had to give them an eviction notice because they were still taking up space in my head and heart. Since I let them move in, I had to throw them out. This eviction notice process consisted of just a period of ceasing! Ceasing all contact. Ceasing all negative thoughts of how I could not make it on my own. Ceasing all feelings of any kind toward them. Concentrating on God, my boys and myself.

Fast forward to 2012. What a difference a year makes! Which I now can inform you life is wonderfully beautiful! Please if you don't do anything else for yourselves this year, please hand out a couple of eviction notices of the head and heart to someone this year. Tell them to vacate the premises immediately!

Until next time, peace and blessings!

LADY IN WAITING

Sometimes in this journey called life, it can throw you for a loop. No matter who you are there are dilemmas that come your way unfounded by anything you could have done but yet just as devastating.

November 17th, 2009 my home was broken into by a local convicted sexual predator. He broke in through my bathroom window and fell asleep in a drunken stupor on my son’s bedroom floor. By the grace of God he did not harm my children or me.

After the police arrested this career criminal in the making I was notified and subpoenaed to his first pretrial hearing and after three months I was subpoenaed again. However, when the original letters was sent he had already had a second pretrial which bonded him out of jail. Today, he is out walking the streets a free man! I love the Mahoning County Justice system!!!!!

This erroneous story would not be so dreadful if it was not for two disturbing facts. The first fact is this idiot lives just a couple of streets behind me. Secondly, I see him almost daily walking the streets, without a care in the world. Right around the corner from my house, like nothing ever happened. I wake up in the middle of the night, wandering if he is in my house since I know he is obviously not in his. (Remember criminals do all of their pillaging at night!)

Now some say I should not post his name in this article because it’s not right. I said to myself………………..Bull!

I have drawn the conclusion while everyone is looking out for his best interest, who is looking out for mine. Of course me! Not the police. Not the judges. Not the system. I was the one victimized but now am being made to be the perpetrator.

I am stating all of this to say that I am mad as…… (well you know the rest!). Right now I feel like my life is at a stand-still. Right now I feel like a lady in waiting. Waiting for justice. Waiting for redemption. Waiting for the strength to take back my peace of mind.

Although this experience has made me a little cenacle, I will try to guard my heart from being blinded by the corrupt laws of the land that only truly protect the guilty.

I have always loved this city. Although so many bad things have been said about it overall I decided to stay and not take the flight to suburbia. I pray I am making the right decision. I never thought the inner city was any worse off than suburbia. I always just assumed the zero tolerance policy help the suburbs out a great deal. Until the city itself adopts the same policy, unfortunately it will always see more of the same. In the meantime, I will be waiting!!!!!

Mothers Sidelined in Sports Today

As mothers of son's who are involved in youth football, often time’s females become sidelined emotionally by male coaches. Mother's can become penalized for their natural nurturing spirit. A woman’s nurturing spirit can then be interpreted as being "overprotective" or "overbearing". Moreover, when a women intervenes on the child’s behalf, the child is then stigmatized as being a "momma's boy".

This is evident on any given day of any youth football league in the United States. You more than likely have been witnessed to the following scenario of tragic proportions many times. Have you ever noticed a young boy playing football and for whatever the reason he suddenly falls down in pain, or is slow to get up off the turf. The concerned mother then runs over to see what is going on with her child, only to be stopped by the coaches who then states unapologetically, “Leave him alone. He has to learn to be a man. He’ll be okay”.

The first problem with the coaches statement is the child is on the turf in some kind of agony, so the last thing he needs to be is left alone. The next thing that is terribly wrong with the coaches assessment of the situation is he is all of 6-years-old therefore he does not have to learn to be a man for at least another twelve years thereafter.

As women we regularly wonder if a small percentage of youth football coaches are often living vicariously through our 6-18-year-old children. Are they perpetuating their dreams on them and if so, how can our God-given right as caring women be implemented in our children’s sports without the blemish of being an “overbearing” mother. The answer is very simple: Coaches keep coaching and Mothers keep mothering!

R.I.P. R&B

I am an avid music lover. My grandfather is a wonderful well-known drummer in the local scene. I grew up listening to his band practice in the basement of our house. The soul, jazz and R&B music the band played would echo a musical flow through the house like a river. I’ve grown to love jazz and R&B genres of music mainly. I value the appreciation I have for R&B music. However as of lately I have notice there is really no pure R&B anymore. The music that I have come across in the last several years is pop music passing for R&B. This saddens me to no end!

The history of R&B music dates back to the 1930’s. R&B was fused from jazz and gospel music which dates back to slavery. R&B came from some African American musical pioneers taking songs that were written by their Caucasian counterparts and adding extra rhythms and snares into it. This would soon be called rhythm and blues because of the extra beats in the music. The history of R&B itself is too rich to just let it die.

As I drive in my car and turn my radio on any given day, I began to miss R&B music. After listening to 10 pop songs in a row, sung by African American entertainers dubbed as R&B musicians, played on an urban radio station, my ears are yearning for the purest form of R&B. That form is from singers like Patti Labelle, Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye, and Aretha Franklin. People who I grew up listening to as real R&B singers with real talent. Artist who sung with heart and soul, not synthesized, uninspired music. I guess that is what I miss the most……. the soul of R&B.

I have seen the most beautiful artist lately in all their glory singing. Nevertheless, I very seldom feel the rhythm or blues from these artists. It’s all about beauty and booty and talent is the last thing on the list.

Therefore, if you have any appealing qualities at all, you are now qualified to become an R&B titled pop artist. Now the first thing you would do is try to break into mainstream pop. Do you know why? Because it sells!!!!! Yes pop music is very lucrative. Its mainstream appeals to a broader audience and therefore it has the tendency to make artists and everyone around the artist very rich. So after knowing all of this, what genre would you sing? Would your rather sing R&B music and sell thousands of records or pop music and sell millions of records? Most people would probably choose the latter. While artist are selling their souls for just the money aspect they are missing the very essence and heart of rhythm and blues. Does anyone have a heart!!! (That’s an old Luther Vandross song people!!!!) Well R.I.P. R&B!!! You will truly be missed!

PAPER HERO'S

Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed

Lately all I have noticed, especially in the city where I reside is “Paper Hero’s”. “Paper Hero’s” are people who were created to be a hero by a certain group with similar interests. However when these “Paper Hero’s” are tried and tested they are nothing more than cut-out, card board paper dolls with no substance, quality or value to them. Whether its sports, entertainment, even spiritual leaders, these “Paper Hero's” can’t cut it.

A prime example of a certain particular “Paper Hero” is a local sports athlete whom thrust onto the scene in about 2005. He was held locally as a “hero” to all who perceived him publically. However, privately was a different story. He is known for domestic violence against his wife, womanizing and not being very personable in public when approached. Our hero right!!!!

Another story of a local “Paper Hero” was of a young college athlete. He was coined the next big thing in sports. Money hungry people therefore attached themselves on to him. He surrounded himself with people who never for one second had his best interest in mind. He was then put in a battle that he could not win. This ultimately led to his demise. On top of everything else he did not finish college and ended up in prison. Another wonderful hero right!!!!

Not only is the “Paper Hero” syndrome related to athletes but also spiritual leaders have not been immune to the same type of hypocrisy. A well-beloved preacher had a mega minded church. His enthusiastic manner drew many people who ordinarily would not go to church to his ministry, which is how ultimately the word of God is written to draw people. The problem is however that this particular’s preacher’s private life was likened unto David. With well known facts of women, women, and more women and a history of misappropriated funds he keeps himself very busy!!!! Our hero right!!!!

I am stating this to inform people that if you really want to be a hero take the glitz and glitter out of your eyes, roll up your sleeves and do the dirty work that comes with it. Most people want a reward without responsibility. They want a position without the paying of dues. Your reputation is worth more than gold. Cherish it. Value it. Treasure it. Saving the world ultimately begins with saving yourself first! Until next time be blessed!!!!

"DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS"

By Danica Hobbs Reed

I know I have been gone for awhile. However, I am more than glad to explain “why” to you today. In lieu of the Tiger Woods scandal, the aspect of keeping our “dirty little secrets” to ourselves is ruining the average person’s life. In this upcoming year I want people in our society to become more transparent. I believe that as mankind, if we exercise the human trait of releasing our most intimate secrets, we will be able to better relate to each other and help each other in one’s time of need. Sincere honesty is a true quality that is missing from today’s society.

You know we all have secrets. Most secrets are not good. Most secrets are devastating. Most secrets hurt. All the more, most secrets can keep you in emotional bondage while trying to keep them from being publicly exposed. On the other hand some secrets are just devastating only to the individual who is harboring the secret. People can do more harm to oneself by holding onto internally potentially harmful secrets.

As for myself, I firmly believe the truth will make you free! Who in this life does not desire freedom? So therefore, I am revealing my “dirty little secret” that I have been harboring in my own life. James 5:16 (New International Version) states: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” I believe an emotional healing can only come with my confession. With that in mind I will now uncover my own “dirty little secret”. Here it goes. Are you ready? Come a little closer! (I know. I’m using stalling tactics!) . Seriously now, here is my ‘dirty little secret”, I am afraid of failing! No, I mean so afraid of failure that the fear of failing itself has manifested grave implications in my life.

For instance, I quit everything I ever did. Why? Because the fear of failing is so great that I could not bear not to succeed. Examples are ballet, singing, karate, etc. The most serious infarctions are relationships, college and most recently my writing!

All I ever wanted to be in life was a writer. Well that was second, next to a “Rockette” when I was a little girl!! Anyway, I began writing this blog with the expectation of me sharing my thoughts and opinions to hopefully inspire, teach and entertain the people who read it. Well unfortunately, after years of writing. No one is actually reading it but me. So therefore, once again, I quit. I did not want to fail at something once again.

Today however, since I have released my “dirty little secret”, I affirm that I quit quitting!!!! As of today I will succeed. I will become the world renowned, prolific writer that I know I am and that God has already gifted me to be.

After unveiling my “dirty little secret” I am now completely free. Reiterating James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” I now have the freedom of healing , and there is nothing like it! Be blessed until next time!!!