"SUPERWOMAN VS. VIRTUOUS WOMAN"

Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed

If there is ever a role model who I so desperately attempt to pattern myself after, you can find her in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is celebrated as the “Virtuous Woman”. When you actually sit down and really engage yourself in this profound description of this strong woman you are in awe of her life achievements. When you consider all of the titles she wore: wife, mother, friend, entrepreneur, caregiver, community outreach, socialite and etc, it is hard to fathom a more prestigious and blessed women. The problem I have is that when I try to live up to every single expectation in these verses, from my experience, it becomes less prestigious and more vexing. This vexing experience is better known as the dreaded “Superwomen Syndrome”.

This week for example, my youngest son recently was hospitalized for two days. His diagnosis was pneumonia, strep and asthma. On the same day as his hospitalization, I was scheduled to take my husband to get an MRI. Due to my son’s illness I could not attend my husband’s MRI which caused a little discord. Then after staying in the hospital for two days with my son and finally discharged out I return home and the house is a complete disaster. Laundry is required to be cleaned. Washing of the dishes was a necessity. Floors needed scrubbed because there were gentlemen there fixing the plumbing( which I was scheduled to let them in). Not to mention I called off from work (which I seldom do) for two days because of my son’s illness. When I return to work my desk will be completely backed up. So then I say to myself, “Self, don’t worry you have the weekend.” Then I soon commit to memory that my weekend job requires my services on Saturday. Sunday, I will be in worship services most of the day. Although it is respected as the Sabbath Day, Sunday is my most busy day because I’m spending the majority of it getting ready for the upcoming week.

When I compare the week that I had to how the “Virtuous Women” would have possibly handled this same scenario, it would go something like this:

She would have left the hospital for a time to let the plumbers in and get her husband to his MRI appointment. She would take her husband home afterwards and clean up her house then went back to the hospital with her son. As far as work goes she would have never called off because after her son had been discharged, she would have tucked him in bed, got to work at 8pm in the evening and remained there until midnight. Everyone would be well taken care of.

Millions of women today are suffering from the effects of “Superwoman Syndrome”. Not only does this way of thinking come with a title, but with it also arrives a feeling of guilt and inadequacy. The guilt arises when something is left undone. The feeling of being inadequate comes into play when you assume that you have been unsuccessful as a women at trying to nurture and provide for your family.

We as women should keep this one thought in mind while going about life struggles everyday. Keeping things in perspective and “keeping first things first “should always be foremost in our consciousness of our daily life .

I recently came to the conclusion that what if I am not cut out to be everything that Proverbs 31:10-31 states. What if my capabilities are only half of what hers are? Maybe if I am a good wife and mother but my community outreach ability is not up to par am I to be held accountable. What if I am a good wife and mother but my entrepreneurship is fallen by the way? Maybe God gave us the “Virtuous Woman” as an outline as to how we should govern ourselves. Just maybe women should take this story of a perfect women of God figuratively and not literally.

I have learned that when we are just depending on our own capability alone to be the best woman, wife or mother that we can be than we just simply become “Superwoman”. However, when we depend on God and ask him to make us the best woman we can be and guide the gifts and talents and potential He wants us to have, it is this aspect that helps us become that well rounded “Virtuous Woman”.

Not ever depending on our own strength or our own abilities is a sure sign that we are placing “Superwoman Syndrome” in the distant past and bringing out our glorious “Virtuous Women” characteristics toward the forefront to enhance our daily lives and even those around us.