Happy Fathers Day!!! Fathers are the God-designated covering for their family, as well as their community. Unfortunately, men receive very bad reviews, when it comes to fathering at times. Therefore, I would like to take this moment in time to dedicate this article to all the wonderful men who stood for me and covered me in my life.
In my earliest memory of my biological father, I was about eight or nine years of age. I recall him pulling up in a yellow Cadillac with his derby hat tilted to the side stating ”Hey girl, I’m your dad! Before that, I recall my uncles being around all the time, especially one in particular, Uncle Gerald. Uncle Gerald never had children of his own, but we were and are still like his children today. My Uncle Gerald is a highly intelligent, mild-mannered man with a great sense of humor. Any question we could possibly ask him he knew the answer to it. We pestered him from day until night and he never got tired of us (so I suppose). He took us to parks, parades, and movies. We had a ball every single time with my uncle. He was the ultimate baby-sitter. To this day, I cherish the memories he gave us and will not ever forget them.
The next male who covered me was my biological father. Although, he became steady in my life when I was about 10 years of age, I am still blessed, because some people never experienced a father in their lives at any time. I learned that it is never too late to have a relationship with your father. I love my father because he was very lenient with me. He would discipline me as follows ”Dee, you know better!” That is as much chastening as I received from him. Growing up with strict upbringing from my maternal side of the family, he would often say he felt sorry for me, in turn he would let me get away with murder. One day for instance, I was finally allowed to go to my first rap show. It was a “Salt-n-Pepa” and “Kid-n-Play concert at the Starr Palace in downtown Youngstown. My mother stated the only way I could go to the concert would be if my Dad went with me. I was at the time about in the 9th grade. My Dad went to the theater and bought tickets, when he came home my mother inquired from him, “Where are your tickets?” He then stated he would buy one at the door. Well he never did! He took me and my cousins to the concert and dropped us off. At intermission, some of my friends came up to me and said, “Your mother is sitting in the back.” I was so shocked and horrified. To this day, my mother claimed she started to look for a cop because she saw “Play” expose himself and we were teenagers at the time. From that day to this one, she is the only person at the concert that I heard this account from!
When we arrived home later that night, world war III had actually broken out between my parents. To this day I appreciated my father’s attempt to allow me to have a little more freedom than I was allotted at times.
The next male in my life who covered me was my step dad. I hate the word “step” so he is actually my wise, knowledgeable spirit-filled dad. He is a well-respected minister in southern Mississippi. His wisdom is worth more than all the gold in the world. He has taught me things that I will never take for granted. His spirit is pure and I appreciate his awesome presence in my life for over 15 years. Whenever I yearn for Godly advice (which is all the time) I seek him out almost daily.
The man who is completely my covering right now is my husband whom I love dearly. I cherish his spirit and character.
All of these men have helped shape me and make me the women I am today. So on this father’s day let us not take the men in our lives for granted. Let each woman take this opportunity to thank all the men in her life who covered us. However if Jesus is the only man who covered you during your life, rejoice in that all the more. For there is no better covering than God!!!
Happy Fathers Day!!
Be blessed until next time!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Religion vs. True Relationship
Written by Danica Hobbs Reed
As I have already previously discussed, I am a Christian believer. However, I am now going through a point in my belief that some collective, traditional based customary services are not my cup of tea. It is almost torment to my soul to sit through one of these church services. It is ironic that I feel this way because my husband is an ordained minister. I just believe that religious tradition and a true relationship in Jesus is two different things. Most of the time the majority of our Christian believers have a tendency to confuse the two.
One of Webster’s dictionary meaning for religion is “extremely scrupulous and conscientious”. This definition implies customary tradition which many believers have taken on today. In other words, this meaning implicates that you can religiously eat. You can religiously drink. You can religiously curse. You can religiously visit the local clubs. You can religiously do anything under the sun. James 1; 27 states, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” True religion! Pure and simple!
Webster’s dictionary meaning for relationship on the other hand is “A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).” When you actually think about this, it is so profound. You see we as Christians are in a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Therefore we take on the relationship aspects of love, respect and honor. So therefore if we are Christians we should make every effort to do what is pleasing to God, because of our relationship, because of our connectedness to him.
Ritualistic, traditional beliefs move toward the ideology that it is how many usher, deacons and choir anniversary programs one’s traditional church can have as to if the true work of God is being accomplished. Sometimes the traditional mind-set of the church is so caught up in the four walls of it, that true work of God is often overlooked.
It is perfectly fine on Sunday to go and worship God with all your mind, body and soul, but when the service is over, did you receive anything from the message. Are you going to utilize your knowledge from the wisdom of the minister to bless someone else that week, or will you simply let the message go in one ear or out the other?
When we collectively gather for assembly in the House of God let’s move away from traditionalism and make a conscious effort to have a true relationship with God in every aspect of the word. By the way, did I inform you the definition of true is, “proper alignment; the property possessed by something that is in correct or proper alignment: consistent not false.” Consistent, not false! This is the best way I can possibly sum up a true relationship in God through Christ. Nothing more to be said!
As I have already previously discussed, I am a Christian believer. However, I am now going through a point in my belief that some collective, traditional based customary services are not my cup of tea. It is almost torment to my soul to sit through one of these church services. It is ironic that I feel this way because my husband is an ordained minister. I just believe that religious tradition and a true relationship in Jesus is two different things. Most of the time the majority of our Christian believers have a tendency to confuse the two.
One of Webster’s dictionary meaning for religion is “extremely scrupulous and conscientious”. This definition implies customary tradition which many believers have taken on today. In other words, this meaning implicates that you can religiously eat. You can religiously drink. You can religiously curse. You can religiously visit the local clubs. You can religiously do anything under the sun. James 1; 27 states, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” True religion! Pure and simple!
Webster’s dictionary meaning for relationship on the other hand is “A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).” When you actually think about this, it is so profound. You see we as Christians are in a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Therefore we take on the relationship aspects of love, respect and honor. So therefore if we are Christians we should make every effort to do what is pleasing to God, because of our relationship, because of our connectedness to him.
Ritualistic, traditional beliefs move toward the ideology that it is how many usher, deacons and choir anniversary programs one’s traditional church can have as to if the true work of God is being accomplished. Sometimes the traditional mind-set of the church is so caught up in the four walls of it, that true work of God is often overlooked.
It is perfectly fine on Sunday to go and worship God with all your mind, body and soul, but when the service is over, did you receive anything from the message. Are you going to utilize your knowledge from the wisdom of the minister to bless someone else that week, or will you simply let the message go in one ear or out the other?
When we collectively gather for assembly in the House of God let’s move away from traditionalism and make a conscious effort to have a true relationship with God in every aspect of the word. By the way, did I inform you the definition of true is, “proper alignment; the property possessed by something that is in correct or proper alignment: consistent not false.” Consistent, not false! This is the best way I can possibly sum up a true relationship in God through Christ. Nothing more to be said!
Friday, June 5, 2009
PRESCRIPTION FOR "MARA"
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
One night while taking a phone call at work, I noticed the beloved Pastor of our facility walking in. I immediately told the caller to hold on and I stated to the Pastor “I am on the phone with your wonderful wife at this very minute”. He replied,”Oh your talking to Mara” and chuckled. Well, that struck me as strange, because his wife’s name was not “Mara”. Very confused at this point, I inquired “Who is Mara, Pastor?” He instructed me to get back on the phone and ask his wife who is “Mara”. So I did. The pastor’s wife then informed me that sometimes her family endearingly calls her “Mara”. She continued and stated that this name is derived from the Bible story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi and Ruth were mother and daughter-in-law. Naomi’s husband and sons died and there was soon a famine in the land. While traveling to another land to get food, someone said, “Hello Naomi”. Naomi simply replied, “Do not call me Naomi, call me “Mara” for I am bitter.”
The Pastor and his wife of course was poking fun with each other, but it seriously struck a chord within me. You see, my next blog was supposed to be entitled, “Letting It Go.” It was about a documentary my husband and I recently viewed, themed, “The Diary of a Tired Black Man.” My blog was going to be about the overall concept of this movie. The whole idea of this documentary was that one decent African American male was fed up with one African American woman’s behavior thus labeling some African American women “bitter and angry”. I was to examine why men think women are bitter and the cause and effect of this bitterness as well as the solution to it. This was the whole concept in a nutshell. The pastor and his wife’s conversation was just confirmation for me to address “bitterness” aka “Mara” on another level of intensity.
Going back to the basis of the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi’s life circumstances contributed to her bitterness. I believe we can all be called “Mara” at one time or another in our life during any given situation or circumstance. Life issues may contribute to some women’s anger and bitterness just like Naomi. Her husband died, then ten years later both of her sons passed away. What did she have left? Who could she depend on? All of these things probably weighed very heavily in Naomi’s spirit.
Likened unto the same scenario for the “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, the premise of some women’s bitterness and angry spirit at times can be chalked up unto life experience once again. Hurt and anger in some women’s life turns into frustration and a harsh demeanor which is then labeled as bitterness. In the documentary “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, I myself empathized with some comments and cringed at others. One gentleman recalled that for many years he watched his mother wear his father down with her spirit of bitterness. He said over the years he saw his father go from a strong dynamic man to a worn down prisoner in his own home. Unfortunately, ladies, I sympathized with that just because I came across women like that over my lifetime. One woman also stated that some men she encountered in her life were dog's and there were no good men out there. I cringed at that statement because I know different, but there for an example lies a frustrated woman’s inner “Mara”.
Whatever the case maybe, there is a prescription for “Mara” aka “bitterness. In my mother’s infinite wisdom, she told me that women have a hard time of “letting go” of things. She stated that this flaw alone will ultimately hurt a woman in her life more than anything else, if she so chooses. Since our design and makeup up is so unique and we can process emotional things different from our male counterparts, we as women can hold onto every emotion we almost ever had. For example, I have seen men get into knockdown, drag out fights with each other, get up, shake each other’s hand and go bowling together afterwards. Women on the other hand, well, after just a slight disagreement with another woman do not expect even a Christmas card for the next ten years or more. We as women can make a conscious decision everyday when we wake up to start the day anew and not hold onto yesterday’s frustration. We can simply decide to give all our problems to God and just “let things go.”
In my life I have unfortunately came across many angry and bitter women. Moreover, I have also met 70 and 80 year old women who were delightful and full of contentment instead of confusion. Those women are the one’s that I have always found intriguing. It is these women whom I love to explore their wisdom because their inner “Mara” never took over. They never became bitter toward life. The only way I can attest for this is through prayer and trusting in God.
Ladies let us now take this opportunity to pray just in case we are harvesting any “Mara” within us;
God our father, we come to You in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ asking you to help us everyday become less bitter and all the more better in everything you would have us to do as women, wives, mothers. Father God, we ask that you focus our attention on you Lord and not the dire circumstance or situation we have experienced behind us or will experience ahead of us. We come earnestly seeking your guidance in learning how to “let go” of “Mara” experiences from the past that could possibly hamper our ability for the future. Forgive us oh Lord for harvesting all of these emotions of bitterness and let them not ever rise up and hold us down again. We thank you for what you are doing and will do in our lives as women of God. In Jesus name we give you all honor and glory, we pray. Amen!!!
Until next time be blessed!
One night while taking a phone call at work, I noticed the beloved Pastor of our facility walking in. I immediately told the caller to hold on and I stated to the Pastor “I am on the phone with your wonderful wife at this very minute”. He replied,”Oh your talking to Mara” and chuckled. Well, that struck me as strange, because his wife’s name was not “Mara”. Very confused at this point, I inquired “Who is Mara, Pastor?” He instructed me to get back on the phone and ask his wife who is “Mara”. So I did. The pastor’s wife then informed me that sometimes her family endearingly calls her “Mara”. She continued and stated that this name is derived from the Bible story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi and Ruth were mother and daughter-in-law. Naomi’s husband and sons died and there was soon a famine in the land. While traveling to another land to get food, someone said, “Hello Naomi”. Naomi simply replied, “Do not call me Naomi, call me “Mara” for I am bitter.”
The Pastor and his wife of course was poking fun with each other, but it seriously struck a chord within me. You see, my next blog was supposed to be entitled, “Letting It Go.” It was about a documentary my husband and I recently viewed, themed, “The Diary of a Tired Black Man.” My blog was going to be about the overall concept of this movie. The whole idea of this documentary was that one decent African American male was fed up with one African American woman’s behavior thus labeling some African American women “bitter and angry”. I was to examine why men think women are bitter and the cause and effect of this bitterness as well as the solution to it. This was the whole concept in a nutshell. The pastor and his wife’s conversation was just confirmation for me to address “bitterness” aka “Mara” on another level of intensity.
Going back to the basis of the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi’s life circumstances contributed to her bitterness. I believe we can all be called “Mara” at one time or another in our life during any given situation or circumstance. Life issues may contribute to some women’s anger and bitterness just like Naomi. Her husband died, then ten years later both of her sons passed away. What did she have left? Who could she depend on? All of these things probably weighed very heavily in Naomi’s spirit.
Likened unto the same scenario for the “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, the premise of some women’s bitterness and angry spirit at times can be chalked up unto life experience once again. Hurt and anger in some women’s life turns into frustration and a harsh demeanor which is then labeled as bitterness. In the documentary “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, I myself empathized with some comments and cringed at others. One gentleman recalled that for many years he watched his mother wear his father down with her spirit of bitterness. He said over the years he saw his father go from a strong dynamic man to a worn down prisoner in his own home. Unfortunately, ladies, I sympathized with that just because I came across women like that over my lifetime. One woman also stated that some men she encountered in her life were dog's and there were no good men out there. I cringed at that statement because I know different, but there for an example lies a frustrated woman’s inner “Mara”.
Whatever the case maybe, there is a prescription for “Mara” aka “bitterness. In my mother’s infinite wisdom, she told me that women have a hard time of “letting go” of things. She stated that this flaw alone will ultimately hurt a woman in her life more than anything else, if she so chooses. Since our design and makeup up is so unique and we can process emotional things different from our male counterparts, we as women can hold onto every emotion we almost ever had. For example, I have seen men get into knockdown, drag out fights with each other, get up, shake each other’s hand and go bowling together afterwards. Women on the other hand, well, after just a slight disagreement with another woman do not expect even a Christmas card for the next ten years or more. We as women can make a conscious decision everyday when we wake up to start the day anew and not hold onto yesterday’s frustration. We can simply decide to give all our problems to God and just “let things go.”
In my life I have unfortunately came across many angry and bitter women. Moreover, I have also met 70 and 80 year old women who were delightful and full of contentment instead of confusion. Those women are the one’s that I have always found intriguing. It is these women whom I love to explore their wisdom because their inner “Mara” never took over. They never became bitter toward life. The only way I can attest for this is through prayer and trusting in God.
Ladies let us now take this opportunity to pray just in case we are harvesting any “Mara” within us;
God our father, we come to You in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ asking you to help us everyday become less bitter and all the more better in everything you would have us to do as women, wives, mothers. Father God, we ask that you focus our attention on you Lord and not the dire circumstance or situation we have experienced behind us or will experience ahead of us. We come earnestly seeking your guidance in learning how to “let go” of “Mara” experiences from the past that could possibly hamper our ability for the future. Forgive us oh Lord for harvesting all of these emotions of bitterness and let them not ever rise up and hold us down again. We thank you for what you are doing and will do in our lives as women of God. In Jesus name we give you all honor and glory, we pray. Amen!!!
Until next time be blessed!
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