PRESCRIPTION FOR "MARA"

Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed

One night while taking a phone call at work, I noticed the beloved Pastor of our facility walking in. I immediately told the caller to hold on and I stated to the Pastor “I am on the phone with your wonderful wife at this very minute”. He replied,”Oh your talking to Mara” and chuckled. Well, that struck me as strange, because his wife’s name was not “Mara”. Very confused at this point, I inquired “Who is Mara, Pastor?” He instructed me to get back on the phone and ask his wife who is “Mara”. So I did. The pastor’s wife then informed me that sometimes her family endearingly calls her “Mara”. She continued and stated that this name is derived from the Bible story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi and Ruth were mother and daughter-in-law. Naomi’s husband and sons died and there was soon a famine in the land. While traveling to another land to get food, someone said, “Hello Naomi”. Naomi simply replied, “Do not call me Naomi, call me “Mara” for I am bitter.”

The Pastor and his wife of course was poking fun with each other, but it seriously struck a chord within me. You see, my next blog was supposed to be entitled, “Letting It Go.” It was about a documentary my husband and I recently viewed, themed, “The Diary of a Tired Black Man.” My blog was going to be about the overall concept of this movie. The whole idea of this documentary was that one decent African American male was fed up with one African American woman’s behavior thus labeling some African American women “bitter and angry”. I was to examine why men think women are bitter and the cause and effect of this bitterness as well as the solution to it. This was the whole concept in a nutshell. The pastor and his wife’s conversation was just confirmation for me to address “bitterness” aka “Mara” on another level of intensity.

Going back to the basis of the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi’s life circumstances contributed to her bitterness. I believe we can all be called “Mara” at one time or another in our life during any given situation or circumstance. Life issues may contribute to some women’s anger and bitterness just like Naomi. Her husband died, then ten years later both of her sons passed away. What did she have left? Who could she depend on? All of these things probably weighed very heavily in Naomi’s spirit.

Likened unto the same scenario for the “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, the premise of some women’s bitterness and angry spirit at times can be chalked up unto life experience once again. Hurt and anger in some women’s life turns into frustration and a harsh demeanor which is then labeled as bitterness. In the documentary “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, I myself empathized with some comments and cringed at others. One gentleman recalled that for many years he watched his mother wear his father down with her spirit of bitterness. He said over the years he saw his father go from a strong dynamic man to a worn down prisoner in his own home. Unfortunately, ladies, I sympathized with that just because I came across women like that over my lifetime. One woman also stated that some men she encountered in her life were dog's and there were no good men out there. I cringed at that statement because I know different, but there for an example lies a frustrated woman’s inner “Mara”.

Whatever the case maybe, there is a prescription for “Mara” aka “bitterness. In my mother’s infinite wisdom, she told me that women have a hard time of “letting go” of things. She stated that this flaw alone will ultimately hurt a woman in her life more than anything else, if she so chooses. Since our design and makeup up is so unique and we can process emotional things different from our male counterparts, we as women can hold onto every emotion we almost ever had. For example, I have seen men get into knockdown, drag out fights with each other, get up, shake each other’s hand and go bowling together afterwards. Women on the other hand, well, after just a slight disagreement with another woman do not expect even a Christmas card for the next ten years or more. We as women can make a conscious decision everyday when we wake up to start the day anew and not hold onto yesterday’s frustration. We can simply decide to give all our problems to God and just “let things go.”

In my life I have unfortunately came across many angry and bitter women. Moreover, I have also met 70 and 80 year old women who were delightful and full of contentment instead of confusion. Those women are the one’s that I have always found intriguing. It is these women whom I love to explore their wisdom because their inner “Mara” never took over. They never became bitter toward life. The only way I can attest for this is through prayer and trusting in God.

Ladies let us now take this opportunity to pray just in case we are harvesting any “Mara” within us;

God our father, we come to You in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ asking you to help us everyday become less bitter and all the more better in everything you would have us to do as women, wives, mothers. Father God, we ask that you focus our attention on you Lord and not the dire circumstance or situation we have experienced behind us or will experience ahead of us. We come earnestly seeking your guidance in learning how to “let go” of “Mara” experiences from the past that could possibly hamper our ability for the future. Forgive us oh Lord for harvesting all of these emotions of bitterness and let them not ever rise up and hold us down again. We thank you for what you are doing and will do in our lives as women of God. In Jesus name we give you all honor and glory, we pray. Amen!!!

Until next time be blessed!