Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
Lately all I have noticed, especially in the city where I reside is “Paper Hero’s”. “Paper Hero’s” are people who were created to be a hero by a certain group with similar interests. However when these “Paper Hero’s” are tried and tested they are nothing more than cut-out, card board paper dolls with no substance, quality or value to them. Whether its sports, entertainment, even spiritual leaders, these “Paper Hero's” can’t cut it.
A prime example of a certain particular “Paper Hero” is a local sports athlete whom thrust onto the scene in about 2005. He was held locally as a “hero” to all who perceived him publically. However, privately was a different story. He is known for domestic violence against his wife, womanizing and not being very personable in public when approached. Our hero right!!!!
Another story of a local “Paper Hero” was of a young college athlete. He was coined the next big thing in sports. Money hungry people therefore attached themselves on to him. He surrounded himself with people who never for one second had his best interest in mind. He was then put in a battle that he could not win. This ultimately led to his demise. On top of everything else he did not finish college and ended up in prison. Another wonderful hero right!!!!
Not only is the “Paper Hero” syndrome related to athletes but also spiritual leaders have not been immune to the same type of hypocrisy. A well-beloved preacher had a mega minded church. His enthusiastic manner drew many people who ordinarily would not go to church to his ministry, which is how ultimately the word of God is written to draw people. The problem is however that this particular’s preacher’s private life was likened unto David. With well known facts of women, women, and more women and a history of misappropriated funds he keeps himself very busy!!!! Our hero right!!!!
I am stating this to inform people that if you really want to be a hero take the glitz and glitter out of your eyes, roll up your sleeves and do the dirty work that comes with it. Most people want a reward without responsibility. They want a position without the paying of dues. Your reputation is worth more than gold. Cherish it. Value it. Treasure it. Saving the world ultimately begins with saving yourself first! Until next time be blessed!!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
"DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS"
By Danica Hobbs Reed
I know I have been gone for awhile. However, I am more than glad to explain “why” to you today. In lieu of the Tiger Woods scandal, the aspect of keeping our “dirty little secrets” to ourselves is ruining the average person’s life. In this upcoming year I want people in our society to become more transparent. I believe that as mankind, if we exercise the human trait of releasing our most intimate secrets, we will be able to better relate to each other and help each other in one’s time of need. Sincere honesty is a true quality that is missing from today’s society.
You know we all have secrets. Most secrets are not good. Most secrets are devastating. Most secrets hurt. All the more, most secrets can keep you in emotional bondage while trying to keep them from being publicly exposed. On the other hand some secrets are just devastating only to the individual who is harboring the secret. People can do more harm to oneself by holding onto internally potentially harmful secrets.
As for myself, I firmly believe the truth will make you free! Who in this life does not desire freedom? So therefore, I am revealing my “dirty little secret” that I have been harboring in my own life. James 5:16 (New International Version) states: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” I believe an emotional healing can only come with my confession. With that in mind I will now uncover my own “dirty little secret”. Here it goes. Are you ready? Come a little closer! (I know. I’m using stalling tactics!) . Seriously now, here is my ‘dirty little secret”, I am afraid of failing! No, I mean so afraid of failure that the fear of failing itself has manifested grave implications in my life.
For instance, I quit everything I ever did. Why? Because the fear of failing is so great that I could not bear not to succeed. Examples are ballet, singing, karate, etc. The most serious infarctions are relationships, college and most recently my writing!
All I ever wanted to be in life was a writer. Well that was second, next to a “Rockette” when I was a little girl!! Anyway, I began writing this blog with the expectation of me sharing my thoughts and opinions to hopefully inspire, teach and entertain the people who read it. Well unfortunately, after years of writing. No one is actually reading it but me. So therefore, once again, I quit. I did not want to fail at something once again.
Today however, since I have released my “dirty little secret”, I affirm that I quit quitting!!!! As of today I will succeed. I will become the world renowned, prolific writer that I know I am and that God has already gifted me to be.
After unveiling my “dirty little secret” I am now completely free. Reiterating James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” I now have the freedom of healing , and there is nothing like it! Be blessed until next time!!!
I know I have been gone for awhile. However, I am more than glad to explain “why” to you today. In lieu of the Tiger Woods scandal, the aspect of keeping our “dirty little secrets” to ourselves is ruining the average person’s life. In this upcoming year I want people in our society to become more transparent. I believe that as mankind, if we exercise the human trait of releasing our most intimate secrets, we will be able to better relate to each other and help each other in one’s time of need. Sincere honesty is a true quality that is missing from today’s society.
You know we all have secrets. Most secrets are not good. Most secrets are devastating. Most secrets hurt. All the more, most secrets can keep you in emotional bondage while trying to keep them from being publicly exposed. On the other hand some secrets are just devastating only to the individual who is harboring the secret. People can do more harm to oneself by holding onto internally potentially harmful secrets.
As for myself, I firmly believe the truth will make you free! Who in this life does not desire freedom? So therefore, I am revealing my “dirty little secret” that I have been harboring in my own life. James 5:16 (New International Version) states: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” I believe an emotional healing can only come with my confession. With that in mind I will now uncover my own “dirty little secret”. Here it goes. Are you ready? Come a little closer! (I know. I’m using stalling tactics!) . Seriously now, here is my ‘dirty little secret”, I am afraid of failing! No, I mean so afraid of failure that the fear of failing itself has manifested grave implications in my life.
For instance, I quit everything I ever did. Why? Because the fear of failing is so great that I could not bear not to succeed. Examples are ballet, singing, karate, etc. The most serious infarctions are relationships, college and most recently my writing!
All I ever wanted to be in life was a writer. Well that was second, next to a “Rockette” when I was a little girl!! Anyway, I began writing this blog with the expectation of me sharing my thoughts and opinions to hopefully inspire, teach and entertain the people who read it. Well unfortunately, after years of writing. No one is actually reading it but me. So therefore, once again, I quit. I did not want to fail at something once again.
Today however, since I have released my “dirty little secret”, I affirm that I quit quitting!!!! As of today I will succeed. I will become the world renowned, prolific writer that I know I am and that God has already gifted me to be.
After unveiling my “dirty little secret” I am now completely free. Reiterating James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” I now have the freedom of healing , and there is nothing like it! Be blessed until next time!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Happy Father's Day! Were You Covered?
Happy Fathers Day!!! Fathers are the God-designated covering for their family, as well as their community. Unfortunately, men receive very bad reviews, when it comes to fathering at times. Therefore, I would like to take this moment in time to dedicate this article to all the wonderful men who stood for me and covered me in my life.
In my earliest memory of my biological father, I was about eight or nine years of age. I recall him pulling up in a yellow Cadillac with his derby hat tilted to the side stating ”Hey girl, I’m your dad! Before that, I recall my uncles being around all the time, especially one in particular, Uncle Gerald. Uncle Gerald never had children of his own, but we were and are still like his children today. My Uncle Gerald is a highly intelligent, mild-mannered man with a great sense of humor. Any question we could possibly ask him he knew the answer to it. We pestered him from day until night and he never got tired of us (so I suppose). He took us to parks, parades, and movies. We had a ball every single time with my uncle. He was the ultimate baby-sitter. To this day, I cherish the memories he gave us and will not ever forget them.
The next male who covered me was my biological father. Although, he became steady in my life when I was about 10 years of age, I am still blessed, because some people never experienced a father in their lives at any time. I learned that it is never too late to have a relationship with your father. I love my father because he was very lenient with me. He would discipline me as follows ”Dee, you know better!” That is as much chastening as I received from him. Growing up with strict upbringing from my maternal side of the family, he would often say he felt sorry for me, in turn he would let me get away with murder. One day for instance, I was finally allowed to go to my first rap show. It was a “Salt-n-Pepa” and “Kid-n-Play concert at the Starr Palace in downtown Youngstown. My mother stated the only way I could go to the concert would be if my Dad went with me. I was at the time about in the 9th grade. My Dad went to the theater and bought tickets, when he came home my mother inquired from him, “Where are your tickets?” He then stated he would buy one at the door. Well he never did! He took me and my cousins to the concert and dropped us off. At intermission, some of my friends came up to me and said, “Your mother is sitting in the back.” I was so shocked and horrified. To this day, my mother claimed she started to look for a cop because she saw “Play” expose himself and we were teenagers at the time. From that day to this one, she is the only person at the concert that I heard this account from!
When we arrived home later that night, world war III had actually broken out between my parents. To this day I appreciated my father’s attempt to allow me to have a little more freedom than I was allotted at times.
The next male in my life who covered me was my step dad. I hate the word “step” so he is actually my wise, knowledgeable spirit-filled dad. He is a well-respected minister in southern Mississippi. His wisdom is worth more than all the gold in the world. He has taught me things that I will never take for granted. His spirit is pure and I appreciate his awesome presence in my life for over 15 years. Whenever I yearn for Godly advice (which is all the time) I seek him out almost daily.
The man who is completely my covering right now is my husband whom I love dearly. I cherish his spirit and character.
All of these men have helped shape me and make me the women I am today. So on this father’s day let us not take the men in our lives for granted. Let each woman take this opportunity to thank all the men in her life who covered us. However if Jesus is the only man who covered you during your life, rejoice in that all the more. For there is no better covering than God!!!
Happy Fathers Day!!
Be blessed until next time!
In my earliest memory of my biological father, I was about eight or nine years of age. I recall him pulling up in a yellow Cadillac with his derby hat tilted to the side stating ”Hey girl, I’m your dad! Before that, I recall my uncles being around all the time, especially one in particular, Uncle Gerald. Uncle Gerald never had children of his own, but we were and are still like his children today. My Uncle Gerald is a highly intelligent, mild-mannered man with a great sense of humor. Any question we could possibly ask him he knew the answer to it. We pestered him from day until night and he never got tired of us (so I suppose). He took us to parks, parades, and movies. We had a ball every single time with my uncle. He was the ultimate baby-sitter. To this day, I cherish the memories he gave us and will not ever forget them.
The next male who covered me was my biological father. Although, he became steady in my life when I was about 10 years of age, I am still blessed, because some people never experienced a father in their lives at any time. I learned that it is never too late to have a relationship with your father. I love my father because he was very lenient with me. He would discipline me as follows ”Dee, you know better!” That is as much chastening as I received from him. Growing up with strict upbringing from my maternal side of the family, he would often say he felt sorry for me, in turn he would let me get away with murder. One day for instance, I was finally allowed to go to my first rap show. It was a “Salt-n-Pepa” and “Kid-n-Play concert at the Starr Palace in downtown Youngstown. My mother stated the only way I could go to the concert would be if my Dad went with me. I was at the time about in the 9th grade. My Dad went to the theater and bought tickets, when he came home my mother inquired from him, “Where are your tickets?” He then stated he would buy one at the door. Well he never did! He took me and my cousins to the concert and dropped us off. At intermission, some of my friends came up to me and said, “Your mother is sitting in the back.” I was so shocked and horrified. To this day, my mother claimed she started to look for a cop because she saw “Play” expose himself and we were teenagers at the time. From that day to this one, she is the only person at the concert that I heard this account from!
When we arrived home later that night, world war III had actually broken out between my parents. To this day I appreciated my father’s attempt to allow me to have a little more freedom than I was allotted at times.
The next male in my life who covered me was my step dad. I hate the word “step” so he is actually my wise, knowledgeable spirit-filled dad. He is a well-respected minister in southern Mississippi. His wisdom is worth more than all the gold in the world. He has taught me things that I will never take for granted. His spirit is pure and I appreciate his awesome presence in my life for over 15 years. Whenever I yearn for Godly advice (which is all the time) I seek him out almost daily.
The man who is completely my covering right now is my husband whom I love dearly. I cherish his spirit and character.
All of these men have helped shape me and make me the women I am today. So on this father’s day let us not take the men in our lives for granted. Let each woman take this opportunity to thank all the men in her life who covered us. However if Jesus is the only man who covered you during your life, rejoice in that all the more. For there is no better covering than God!!!
Happy Fathers Day!!
Be blessed until next time!
Religion vs. True Relationship
Written by Danica Hobbs Reed
As I have already previously discussed, I am a Christian believer. However, I am now going through a point in my belief that some collective, traditional based customary services are not my cup of tea. It is almost torment to my soul to sit through one of these church services. It is ironic that I feel this way because my husband is an ordained minister. I just believe that religious tradition and a true relationship in Jesus is two different things. Most of the time the majority of our Christian believers have a tendency to confuse the two.
One of Webster’s dictionary meaning for religion is “extremely scrupulous and conscientious”. This definition implies customary tradition which many believers have taken on today. In other words, this meaning implicates that you can religiously eat. You can religiously drink. You can religiously curse. You can religiously visit the local clubs. You can religiously do anything under the sun. James 1; 27 states, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” True religion! Pure and simple!
Webster’s dictionary meaning for relationship on the other hand is “A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).” When you actually think about this, it is so profound. You see we as Christians are in a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Therefore we take on the relationship aspects of love, respect and honor. So therefore if we are Christians we should make every effort to do what is pleasing to God, because of our relationship, because of our connectedness to him.
Ritualistic, traditional beliefs move toward the ideology that it is how many usher, deacons and choir anniversary programs one’s traditional church can have as to if the true work of God is being accomplished. Sometimes the traditional mind-set of the church is so caught up in the four walls of it, that true work of God is often overlooked.
It is perfectly fine on Sunday to go and worship God with all your mind, body and soul, but when the service is over, did you receive anything from the message. Are you going to utilize your knowledge from the wisdom of the minister to bless someone else that week, or will you simply let the message go in one ear or out the other?
When we collectively gather for assembly in the House of God let’s move away from traditionalism and make a conscious effort to have a true relationship with God in every aspect of the word. By the way, did I inform you the definition of true is, “proper alignment; the property possessed by something that is in correct or proper alignment: consistent not false.” Consistent, not false! This is the best way I can possibly sum up a true relationship in God through Christ. Nothing more to be said!
As I have already previously discussed, I am a Christian believer. However, I am now going through a point in my belief that some collective, traditional based customary services are not my cup of tea. It is almost torment to my soul to sit through one of these church services. It is ironic that I feel this way because my husband is an ordained minister. I just believe that religious tradition and a true relationship in Jesus is two different things. Most of the time the majority of our Christian believers have a tendency to confuse the two.
One of Webster’s dictionary meaning for religion is “extremely scrupulous and conscientious”. This definition implies customary tradition which many believers have taken on today. In other words, this meaning implicates that you can religiously eat. You can religiously drink. You can religiously curse. You can religiously visit the local clubs. You can religiously do anything under the sun. James 1; 27 states, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” True religion! Pure and simple!
Webster’s dictionary meaning for relationship on the other hand is “A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).” When you actually think about this, it is so profound. You see we as Christians are in a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Therefore we take on the relationship aspects of love, respect and honor. So therefore if we are Christians we should make every effort to do what is pleasing to God, because of our relationship, because of our connectedness to him.
Ritualistic, traditional beliefs move toward the ideology that it is how many usher, deacons and choir anniversary programs one’s traditional church can have as to if the true work of God is being accomplished. Sometimes the traditional mind-set of the church is so caught up in the four walls of it, that true work of God is often overlooked.
It is perfectly fine on Sunday to go and worship God with all your mind, body and soul, but when the service is over, did you receive anything from the message. Are you going to utilize your knowledge from the wisdom of the minister to bless someone else that week, or will you simply let the message go in one ear or out the other?
When we collectively gather for assembly in the House of God let’s move away from traditionalism and make a conscious effort to have a true relationship with God in every aspect of the word. By the way, did I inform you the definition of true is, “proper alignment; the property possessed by something that is in correct or proper alignment: consistent not false.” Consistent, not false! This is the best way I can possibly sum up a true relationship in God through Christ. Nothing more to be said!
Friday, June 5, 2009
PRESCRIPTION FOR "MARA"
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
One night while taking a phone call at work, I noticed the beloved Pastor of our facility walking in. I immediately told the caller to hold on and I stated to the Pastor “I am on the phone with your wonderful wife at this very minute”. He replied,”Oh your talking to Mara” and chuckled. Well, that struck me as strange, because his wife’s name was not “Mara”. Very confused at this point, I inquired “Who is Mara, Pastor?” He instructed me to get back on the phone and ask his wife who is “Mara”. So I did. The pastor’s wife then informed me that sometimes her family endearingly calls her “Mara”. She continued and stated that this name is derived from the Bible story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi and Ruth were mother and daughter-in-law. Naomi’s husband and sons died and there was soon a famine in the land. While traveling to another land to get food, someone said, “Hello Naomi”. Naomi simply replied, “Do not call me Naomi, call me “Mara” for I am bitter.”
The Pastor and his wife of course was poking fun with each other, but it seriously struck a chord within me. You see, my next blog was supposed to be entitled, “Letting It Go.” It was about a documentary my husband and I recently viewed, themed, “The Diary of a Tired Black Man.” My blog was going to be about the overall concept of this movie. The whole idea of this documentary was that one decent African American male was fed up with one African American woman’s behavior thus labeling some African American women “bitter and angry”. I was to examine why men think women are bitter and the cause and effect of this bitterness as well as the solution to it. This was the whole concept in a nutshell. The pastor and his wife’s conversation was just confirmation for me to address “bitterness” aka “Mara” on another level of intensity.
Going back to the basis of the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi’s life circumstances contributed to her bitterness. I believe we can all be called “Mara” at one time or another in our life during any given situation or circumstance. Life issues may contribute to some women’s anger and bitterness just like Naomi. Her husband died, then ten years later both of her sons passed away. What did she have left? Who could she depend on? All of these things probably weighed very heavily in Naomi’s spirit.
Likened unto the same scenario for the “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, the premise of some women’s bitterness and angry spirit at times can be chalked up unto life experience once again. Hurt and anger in some women’s life turns into frustration and a harsh demeanor which is then labeled as bitterness. In the documentary “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, I myself empathized with some comments and cringed at others. One gentleman recalled that for many years he watched his mother wear his father down with her spirit of bitterness. He said over the years he saw his father go from a strong dynamic man to a worn down prisoner in his own home. Unfortunately, ladies, I sympathized with that just because I came across women like that over my lifetime. One woman also stated that some men she encountered in her life were dog's and there were no good men out there. I cringed at that statement because I know different, but there for an example lies a frustrated woman’s inner “Mara”.
Whatever the case maybe, there is a prescription for “Mara” aka “bitterness. In my mother’s infinite wisdom, she told me that women have a hard time of “letting go” of things. She stated that this flaw alone will ultimately hurt a woman in her life more than anything else, if she so chooses. Since our design and makeup up is so unique and we can process emotional things different from our male counterparts, we as women can hold onto every emotion we almost ever had. For example, I have seen men get into knockdown, drag out fights with each other, get up, shake each other’s hand and go bowling together afterwards. Women on the other hand, well, after just a slight disagreement with another woman do not expect even a Christmas card for the next ten years or more. We as women can make a conscious decision everyday when we wake up to start the day anew and not hold onto yesterday’s frustration. We can simply decide to give all our problems to God and just “let things go.”
In my life I have unfortunately came across many angry and bitter women. Moreover, I have also met 70 and 80 year old women who were delightful and full of contentment instead of confusion. Those women are the one’s that I have always found intriguing. It is these women whom I love to explore their wisdom because their inner “Mara” never took over. They never became bitter toward life. The only way I can attest for this is through prayer and trusting in God.
Ladies let us now take this opportunity to pray just in case we are harvesting any “Mara” within us;
God our father, we come to You in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ asking you to help us everyday become less bitter and all the more better in everything you would have us to do as women, wives, mothers. Father God, we ask that you focus our attention on you Lord and not the dire circumstance or situation we have experienced behind us or will experience ahead of us. We come earnestly seeking your guidance in learning how to “let go” of “Mara” experiences from the past that could possibly hamper our ability for the future. Forgive us oh Lord for harvesting all of these emotions of bitterness and let them not ever rise up and hold us down again. We thank you for what you are doing and will do in our lives as women of God. In Jesus name we give you all honor and glory, we pray. Amen!!!
Until next time be blessed!
One night while taking a phone call at work, I noticed the beloved Pastor of our facility walking in. I immediately told the caller to hold on and I stated to the Pastor “I am on the phone with your wonderful wife at this very minute”. He replied,”Oh your talking to Mara” and chuckled. Well, that struck me as strange, because his wife’s name was not “Mara”. Very confused at this point, I inquired “Who is Mara, Pastor?” He instructed me to get back on the phone and ask his wife who is “Mara”. So I did. The pastor’s wife then informed me that sometimes her family endearingly calls her “Mara”. She continued and stated that this name is derived from the Bible story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi and Ruth were mother and daughter-in-law. Naomi’s husband and sons died and there was soon a famine in the land. While traveling to another land to get food, someone said, “Hello Naomi”. Naomi simply replied, “Do not call me Naomi, call me “Mara” for I am bitter.”
The Pastor and his wife of course was poking fun with each other, but it seriously struck a chord within me. You see, my next blog was supposed to be entitled, “Letting It Go.” It was about a documentary my husband and I recently viewed, themed, “The Diary of a Tired Black Man.” My blog was going to be about the overall concept of this movie. The whole idea of this documentary was that one decent African American male was fed up with one African American woman’s behavior thus labeling some African American women “bitter and angry”. I was to examine why men think women are bitter and the cause and effect of this bitterness as well as the solution to it. This was the whole concept in a nutshell. The pastor and his wife’s conversation was just confirmation for me to address “bitterness” aka “Mara” on another level of intensity.
Going back to the basis of the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi’s life circumstances contributed to her bitterness. I believe we can all be called “Mara” at one time or another in our life during any given situation or circumstance. Life issues may contribute to some women’s anger and bitterness just like Naomi. Her husband died, then ten years later both of her sons passed away. What did she have left? Who could she depend on? All of these things probably weighed very heavily in Naomi’s spirit.
Likened unto the same scenario for the “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, the premise of some women’s bitterness and angry spirit at times can be chalked up unto life experience once again. Hurt and anger in some women’s life turns into frustration and a harsh demeanor which is then labeled as bitterness. In the documentary “Diary of a Tired Black Man”, I myself empathized with some comments and cringed at others. One gentleman recalled that for many years he watched his mother wear his father down with her spirit of bitterness. He said over the years he saw his father go from a strong dynamic man to a worn down prisoner in his own home. Unfortunately, ladies, I sympathized with that just because I came across women like that over my lifetime. One woman also stated that some men she encountered in her life were dog's and there were no good men out there. I cringed at that statement because I know different, but there for an example lies a frustrated woman’s inner “Mara”.
Whatever the case maybe, there is a prescription for “Mara” aka “bitterness. In my mother’s infinite wisdom, she told me that women have a hard time of “letting go” of things. She stated that this flaw alone will ultimately hurt a woman in her life more than anything else, if she so chooses. Since our design and makeup up is so unique and we can process emotional things different from our male counterparts, we as women can hold onto every emotion we almost ever had. For example, I have seen men get into knockdown, drag out fights with each other, get up, shake each other’s hand and go bowling together afterwards. Women on the other hand, well, after just a slight disagreement with another woman do not expect even a Christmas card for the next ten years or more. We as women can make a conscious decision everyday when we wake up to start the day anew and not hold onto yesterday’s frustration. We can simply decide to give all our problems to God and just “let things go.”
In my life I have unfortunately came across many angry and bitter women. Moreover, I have also met 70 and 80 year old women who were delightful and full of contentment instead of confusion. Those women are the one’s that I have always found intriguing. It is these women whom I love to explore their wisdom because their inner “Mara” never took over. They never became bitter toward life. The only way I can attest for this is through prayer and trusting in God.
Ladies let us now take this opportunity to pray just in case we are harvesting any “Mara” within us;
God our father, we come to You in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ asking you to help us everyday become less bitter and all the more better in everything you would have us to do as women, wives, mothers. Father God, we ask that you focus our attention on you Lord and not the dire circumstance or situation we have experienced behind us or will experience ahead of us. We come earnestly seeking your guidance in learning how to “let go” of “Mara” experiences from the past that could possibly hamper our ability for the future. Forgive us oh Lord for harvesting all of these emotions of bitterness and let them not ever rise up and hold us down again. We thank you for what you are doing and will do in our lives as women of God. In Jesus name we give you all honor and glory, we pray. Amen!!!
Until next time be blessed!
Friday, May 29, 2009
"Women At The Well"
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
In the event that you have never heard of one of the most celebrated Bible stories ever, here is a brief synopsis of John 4:5-30:
One day a women went to the well to fetch water. While at the well she encountered Jesus, who then gave her the rundown of her past. She was so astonished by his knowledge of her existence, she ran back to tell the people of the city of her encounter.
You see this woman at the well had a past. She had skeletons in her closet. Her years of wandering from man to man and situation to situation contorted her spirit. Her utter existence depended only if someone else was given power over her that she would have given them first.
I believe if women today are transparent, we could agree that we have all had a first hand understanding of what the woman at the well was going through. From time to time, especially as women we have engaged ourselves in things we shouldn't, We have brought situations into our lives that in it, no positive outcome was possible. As women, we are blessed to be nurturers. However we often forget that our job as a woman is to decipher what can be nurtured and what can't , ultimately should be put out to pasture, be it destitute people or an insolvent situation.
So many times, women find themselves likened unto the woman at the well. Not in just the relationship aspect of her situation, but the emotional, social and spiritual aspects also. We find ourselves bound up in situations that are so far beyond our grasp, it may take a wake-up call to bring us back to reality.
Although the woman at the well went to get water, she ultimately came back with more than she ever needed. Soul satisfaction. Although we never knew how she ultimately turned out, Christians always believe that she had changed for the better. We assume she never married for a sixth time. We assume the husband she coveted, after her meeting with Jesus she had the strength to send him packing . We presuppose these things because if you have ever had a true encounter with Jesus, you know something has to change for the better.
I believe on any given day we have all been women at the well of life. We have thirsted for things that were not conducive to us becoming the women whom God desires us to be. However, is it not a comfort to know the thirst for a meaningful existence can be quenched with the true living water…………………..Jesus Christ!
In the event that you have never heard of one of the most celebrated Bible stories ever, here is a brief synopsis of John 4:5-30:
One day a women went to the well to fetch water. While at the well she encountered Jesus, who then gave her the rundown of her past. She was so astonished by his knowledge of her existence, she ran back to tell the people of the city of her encounter.
You see this woman at the well had a past. She had skeletons in her closet. Her years of wandering from man to man and situation to situation contorted her spirit. Her utter existence depended only if someone else was given power over her that she would have given them first.
I believe if women today are transparent, we could agree that we have all had a first hand understanding of what the woman at the well was going through. From time to time, especially as women we have engaged ourselves in things we shouldn't, We have brought situations into our lives that in it, no positive outcome was possible. As women, we are blessed to be nurturers. However we often forget that our job as a woman is to decipher what can be nurtured and what can't , ultimately should be put out to pasture, be it destitute people or an insolvent situation.
So many times, women find themselves likened unto the woman at the well. Not in just the relationship aspect of her situation, but the emotional, social and spiritual aspects also. We find ourselves bound up in situations that are so far beyond our grasp, it may take a wake-up call to bring us back to reality.
Although the woman at the well went to get water, she ultimately came back with more than she ever needed. Soul satisfaction. Although we never knew how she ultimately turned out, Christians always believe that she had changed for the better. We assume she never married for a sixth time. We assume the husband she coveted, after her meeting with Jesus she had the strength to send him packing . We presuppose these things because if you have ever had a true encounter with Jesus, you know something has to change for the better.
I believe on any given day we have all been women at the well of life. We have thirsted for things that were not conducive to us becoming the women whom God desires us to be. However, is it not a comfort to know the thirst for a meaningful existence can be quenched with the true living water…………………..Jesus Christ!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
POLITICALLY INCORRECT
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
I believe we were all made to love as well as laugh. I love to laugh. One thing that makes me laugh especially at night is TV Land's weekend, evening programming. Still to this day, two of the funniest characters ever on television; Archie Bunker and George Jefferson are two of the most humorous personalities who ever graced television. They were so amusingly comical. What made them so comical was the fact they were at two different extremes. At times so unaware of anything else around them, they managed to rule their families in complete and total social ignorance. They each had an utter belief that their ideology was the ultimate philosophy of life for everyone else as well as themselves. Many times Lionel, (the son of George Jefferson) would go and grace Archie Bunker with his presence. They had a mutual friendship of respect and Archie really did like Lionel even though his prejudicial ideas stated otherwise. Lionel always had a way of handling Archie and making him look as foolish as he acted unknowing to Archie. One unforgettable time for instance, while Lionel was visiting Archie Bunker, Archie asked Lionel, “Hey let me ask you a question Lionel. How in the world did your father get all that money to buy all those cleaners?” Do you know how Lionel replied to Archie? It was classic. Do you really want to know? Well as much as I am really yearning to tell you………………………….I can’t. You see nowadays it is considered politically incorrect to state such. But for the record, it truly is hysterically side-splitting!!!!!
This is my point. Short and sweet!!! Since our society has turned so politically correct it has taken the fun out of everything! I have never been politically correct. As grandma used to say, “A little bit of common sense, goes along way.” If we live by that motto, then we know basic human decency and respect should be in our every thought and guide our daily decision-making. I have always had a problem with being politically correct. To me, this term states that you stand for nothing and fall for everything! Ultimately we have learned over the years that life is black or white. There is only right or wrong. No gray area. There is only left or right. No middle playing field.
I believe 1979 was such a different time than 2009, or at least it was much more amusing, anyway. Keeping these things in mind, I crave to tell you how Lionel Jefferson replied to Archie Bunker's question …………………………………but I still can’t! Sorry, unfortunately it’s 2009!
I believe we were all made to love as well as laugh. I love to laugh. One thing that makes me laugh especially at night is TV Land's weekend, evening programming. Still to this day, two of the funniest characters ever on television; Archie Bunker and George Jefferson are two of the most humorous personalities who ever graced television. They were so amusingly comical. What made them so comical was the fact they were at two different extremes. At times so unaware of anything else around them, they managed to rule their families in complete and total social ignorance. They each had an utter belief that their ideology was the ultimate philosophy of life for everyone else as well as themselves. Many times Lionel, (the son of George Jefferson) would go and grace Archie Bunker with his presence. They had a mutual friendship of respect and Archie really did like Lionel even though his prejudicial ideas stated otherwise. Lionel always had a way of handling Archie and making him look as foolish as he acted unknowing to Archie. One unforgettable time for instance, while Lionel was visiting Archie Bunker, Archie asked Lionel, “Hey let me ask you a question Lionel. How in the world did your father get all that money to buy all those cleaners?” Do you know how Lionel replied to Archie? It was classic. Do you really want to know? Well as much as I am really yearning to tell you………………………….I can’t. You see nowadays it is considered politically incorrect to state such. But for the record, it truly is hysterically side-splitting!!!!!
This is my point. Short and sweet!!! Since our society has turned so politically correct it has taken the fun out of everything! I have never been politically correct. As grandma used to say, “A little bit of common sense, goes along way.” If we live by that motto, then we know basic human decency and respect should be in our every thought and guide our daily decision-making. I have always had a problem with being politically correct. To me, this term states that you stand for nothing and fall for everything! Ultimately we have learned over the years that life is black or white. There is only right or wrong. No gray area. There is only left or right. No middle playing field.
I believe 1979 was such a different time than 2009, or at least it was much more amusing, anyway. Keeping these things in mind, I crave to tell you how Lionel Jefferson replied to Archie Bunker's question …………………………………but I still can’t! Sorry, unfortunately it’s 2009!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
"SUPERWOMAN VS. VIRTUOUS WOMAN"
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
If there is ever a role model who I so desperately attempt to pattern myself after, you can find her in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is celebrated as the “Virtuous Woman”. When you actually sit down and really engage yourself in this profound description of this strong woman you are in awe of her life achievements. When you consider all of the titles she wore: wife, mother, friend, entrepreneur, caregiver, community outreach, socialite and etc, it is hard to fathom a more prestigious and blessed women. The problem I have is that when I try to live up to every single expectation in these verses, from my experience, it becomes less prestigious and more vexing. This vexing experience is better known as the dreaded “Superwomen Syndrome”.
This week for example, my youngest son recently was hospitalized for two days. His diagnosis was pneumonia, strep and asthma. On the same day as his hospitalization, I was scheduled to take my husband to get an MRI. Due to my son’s illness I could not attend my husband’s MRI which caused a little discord. Then after staying in the hospital for two days with my son and finally discharged out I return home and the house is a complete disaster. Laundry is required to be cleaned. Washing of the dishes was a necessity. Floors needed scrubbed because there were gentlemen there fixing the plumbing( which I was scheduled to let them in). Not to mention I called off from work (which I seldom do) for two days because of my son’s illness. When I return to work my desk will be completely backed up. So then I say to myself, “Self, don’t worry you have the weekend.” Then I soon commit to memory that my weekend job requires my services on Saturday. Sunday, I will be in worship services most of the day. Although it is respected as the Sabbath Day, Sunday is my most busy day because I’m spending the majority of it getting ready for the upcoming week.
When I compare the week that I had to how the “Virtuous Women” would have possibly handled this same scenario, it would go something like this:
She would have left the hospital for a time to let the plumbers in and get her husband to his MRI appointment. She would take her husband home afterwards and clean up her house then went back to the hospital with her son. As far as work goes she would have never called off because after her son had been discharged, she would have tucked him in bed, got to work at 8pm in the evening and remained there until midnight. Everyone would be well taken care of.
Millions of women today are suffering from the effects of “Superwoman Syndrome”. Not only does this way of thinking come with a title, but with it also arrives a feeling of guilt and inadequacy. The guilt arises when something is left undone. The feeling of being inadequate comes into play when you assume that you have been unsuccessful as a women at trying to nurture and provide for your family.
We as women should keep this one thought in mind while going about life struggles everyday. Keeping things in perspective and “keeping first things first “should always be foremost in our consciousness of our daily life .
I recently came to the conclusion that what if I am not cut out to be everything that Proverbs 31:10-31 states. What if my capabilities are only half of what hers are? Maybe if I am a good wife and mother but my community outreach ability is not up to par am I to be held accountable. What if I am a good wife and mother but my entrepreneurship is fallen by the way? Maybe God gave us the “Virtuous Woman” as an outline as to how we should govern ourselves. Just maybe women should take this story of a perfect women of God figuratively and not literally.
I have learned that when we are just depending on our own capability alone to be the best woman, wife or mother that we can be than we just simply become “Superwoman”. However, when we depend on God and ask him to make us the best woman we can be and guide the gifts and talents and potential He wants us to have, it is this aspect that helps us become that well rounded “Virtuous Woman”.
Not ever depending on our own strength or our own abilities is a sure sign that we are placing “Superwoman Syndrome” in the distant past and bringing out our glorious “Virtuous Women” characteristics toward the forefront to enhance our daily lives and even those around us.
If there is ever a role model who I so desperately attempt to pattern myself after, you can find her in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is celebrated as the “Virtuous Woman”. When you actually sit down and really engage yourself in this profound description of this strong woman you are in awe of her life achievements. When you consider all of the titles she wore: wife, mother, friend, entrepreneur, caregiver, community outreach, socialite and etc, it is hard to fathom a more prestigious and blessed women. The problem I have is that when I try to live up to every single expectation in these verses, from my experience, it becomes less prestigious and more vexing. This vexing experience is better known as the dreaded “Superwomen Syndrome”.
This week for example, my youngest son recently was hospitalized for two days. His diagnosis was pneumonia, strep and asthma. On the same day as his hospitalization, I was scheduled to take my husband to get an MRI. Due to my son’s illness I could not attend my husband’s MRI which caused a little discord. Then after staying in the hospital for two days with my son and finally discharged out I return home and the house is a complete disaster. Laundry is required to be cleaned. Washing of the dishes was a necessity. Floors needed scrubbed because there were gentlemen there fixing the plumbing( which I was scheduled to let them in). Not to mention I called off from work (which I seldom do) for two days because of my son’s illness. When I return to work my desk will be completely backed up. So then I say to myself, “Self, don’t worry you have the weekend.” Then I soon commit to memory that my weekend job requires my services on Saturday. Sunday, I will be in worship services most of the day. Although it is respected as the Sabbath Day, Sunday is my most busy day because I’m spending the majority of it getting ready for the upcoming week.
When I compare the week that I had to how the “Virtuous Women” would have possibly handled this same scenario, it would go something like this:
She would have left the hospital for a time to let the plumbers in and get her husband to his MRI appointment. She would take her husband home afterwards and clean up her house then went back to the hospital with her son. As far as work goes she would have never called off because after her son had been discharged, she would have tucked him in bed, got to work at 8pm in the evening and remained there until midnight. Everyone would be well taken care of.
Millions of women today are suffering from the effects of “Superwoman Syndrome”. Not only does this way of thinking come with a title, but with it also arrives a feeling of guilt and inadequacy. The guilt arises when something is left undone. The feeling of being inadequate comes into play when you assume that you have been unsuccessful as a women at trying to nurture and provide for your family.
We as women should keep this one thought in mind while going about life struggles everyday. Keeping things in perspective and “keeping first things first “should always be foremost in our consciousness of our daily life .
I recently came to the conclusion that what if I am not cut out to be everything that Proverbs 31:10-31 states. What if my capabilities are only half of what hers are? Maybe if I am a good wife and mother but my community outreach ability is not up to par am I to be held accountable. What if I am a good wife and mother but my entrepreneurship is fallen by the way? Maybe God gave us the “Virtuous Woman” as an outline as to how we should govern ourselves. Just maybe women should take this story of a perfect women of God figuratively and not literally.
I have learned that when we are just depending on our own capability alone to be the best woman, wife or mother that we can be than we just simply become “Superwoman”. However, when we depend on God and ask him to make us the best woman we can be and guide the gifts and talents and potential He wants us to have, it is this aspect that helps us become that well rounded “Virtuous Woman”.
Not ever depending on our own strength or our own abilities is a sure sign that we are placing “Superwoman Syndrome” in the distant past and bringing out our glorious “Virtuous Women” characteristics toward the forefront to enhance our daily lives and even those around us.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
"YOUNGSTOWN FABULOUS"
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
I recently had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful woman of God who offers Christian financial classes to women. She empowers all women in regards to monetary issues. She shared her story at a workshop I attended.
This lovely woman informed us that she recently moved to the Youngstown area from Nashville, Tennessee. She stated that where she lived in Nashville, it was much different from our area. The region she moved away from, the average price of homes was about $200,000 and up. She acknowledged that everyone she knew had swimming pools and very modest cars. However, when she relocated to Youngstown, Ohio where the median price for a home is much lower, not only was it a culture shock to her but she stated she had a true awakening after she saw the beautiful, diverse women of this community. She continued to inform us that in all her travels she had never seen women, much like ours. She declared that everywhere she looked she saw very well groomed women from top to bottom. She noticed that women in this area were always fabulous looking from their hair to fingernails. She then in turn coined an endearing term for what she noticed in our town. She called it “Youngstown Fabulous”.
I believe there has never been a more charming phrase than “Youngstown Fabulous” to describe our charismatic women of this area. I myself being a native here all my life, understand exactly what she means. Although our population over the last 40 years or so has dwindled down, our aspiration of greatness is still holding strong. We may only have a population of about 70,000 but our ambitions here are as big as if we lived in Atlanta, Georgia. Our goals are as big as if we stayed in New York City. Our never ending struggle for achieving the American dream still is as vast as if we lived in Los Angeles, California!
Now mind you, here lies the problem. I did inform you at the beginning of this article, that I met this very intelligent woman in her financial workshop! BINGO!!!! Are you following me now? Do you see where I’m heading with this?
You see in all of our “Youngstown Fabulousness”, we have forgotten one small detail. If we are placing everything that we deem as valuable just on our bodies alone we have truly missed the mark. If our lifestyle as far as things and stuff are concerned is our only substance, than we will easily fall short economically, spiritually and otherwise.
What else do some people have to show besides Fendi, Gucci, and Coach? Do we have 401K’s or 403B’s or stock options, mutual funds or even savings and checking accounts? Are we clearing up credit card debt, tax liens and or car notes? I am sure that we are, or that we will very soon!
I believe this year women in this region especially will become more fiscally responsible than ever before. I am encouraging women to take control of their finances. I am praying for women to start businesses and write books, and own their own homes. I am hopeful that every woman in this city credit score will read 700+ very soon.
In essence I believe an outsider has seen the wonderful potential in us and she truly desires for us to see it in ourselves. Her amazing insight to the true beauty of the women in this area is to the betterment of us all. After we take her advice then and only then can we truly wear the title of “Youngstown Fabulous”. And wear it well we will!!!
I recently had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful woman of God who offers Christian financial classes to women. She empowers all women in regards to monetary issues. She shared her story at a workshop I attended.
This lovely woman informed us that she recently moved to the Youngstown area from Nashville, Tennessee. She stated that where she lived in Nashville, it was much different from our area. The region she moved away from, the average price of homes was about $200,000 and up. She acknowledged that everyone she knew had swimming pools and very modest cars. However, when she relocated to Youngstown, Ohio where the median price for a home is much lower, not only was it a culture shock to her but she stated she had a true awakening after she saw the beautiful, diverse women of this community. She continued to inform us that in all her travels she had never seen women, much like ours. She declared that everywhere she looked she saw very well groomed women from top to bottom. She noticed that women in this area were always fabulous looking from their hair to fingernails. She then in turn coined an endearing term for what she noticed in our town. She called it “Youngstown Fabulous”.
I believe there has never been a more charming phrase than “Youngstown Fabulous” to describe our charismatic women of this area. I myself being a native here all my life, understand exactly what she means. Although our population over the last 40 years or so has dwindled down, our aspiration of greatness is still holding strong. We may only have a population of about 70,000 but our ambitions here are as big as if we lived in Atlanta, Georgia. Our goals are as big as if we stayed in New York City. Our never ending struggle for achieving the American dream still is as vast as if we lived in Los Angeles, California!
Now mind you, here lies the problem. I did inform you at the beginning of this article, that I met this very intelligent woman in her financial workshop! BINGO!!!! Are you following me now? Do you see where I’m heading with this?
You see in all of our “Youngstown Fabulousness”, we have forgotten one small detail. If we are placing everything that we deem as valuable just on our bodies alone we have truly missed the mark. If our lifestyle as far as things and stuff are concerned is our only substance, than we will easily fall short economically, spiritually and otherwise.
What else do some people have to show besides Fendi, Gucci, and Coach? Do we have 401K’s or 403B’s or stock options, mutual funds or even savings and checking accounts? Are we clearing up credit card debt, tax liens and or car notes? I am sure that we are, or that we will very soon!
I believe this year women in this region especially will become more fiscally responsible than ever before. I am encouraging women to take control of their finances. I am praying for women to start businesses and write books, and own their own homes. I am hopeful that every woman in this city credit score will read 700+ very soon.
In essence I believe an outsider has seen the wonderful potential in us and she truly desires for us to see it in ourselves. Her amazing insight to the true beauty of the women in this area is to the betterment of us all. After we take her advice then and only then can we truly wear the title of “Youngstown Fabulous”. And wear it well we will!!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
IN GOD I TRUST
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
Have you ever tried reading the newspaper or watching the news lately? Well don’t! Please do not even bother reading about the deviant abilities of our human nature. Likewise, do not bother yourself by watching ill-willed individuals try to destroy all that is sacred.
In times as crazy and confusing like these, I am thankful for what has been instilled in me since I was a child. What is now a bad word here in America…… Christianity, at this very moment in time, is my strength!! It’s all that is tangible to me right now. It is the only thing that I can grasp onto and I know it will not fail.
I was born and raised in the Baptist faith. Although now, I consider myself more non-denominational, my Baptist roots are still there.
We who are in the Baptist faith call ourselves Baptist because we believe in John the Baptist teachings of Jesus Christ. We believe in John the Baptist ideas in the confession of Christ, repenting from sin, and submerging of the body for baptism. Baptist beleives these principles are the closest precepts to the truth regarding Christianity. The word Christian is derived from Christ aka Jesus Christ (for those of us who have not been to Church in awhile)! Christianity means we are followers of Jesus who God sent to save us from our sins.
Since the economy tanked, jobs have been destroyed, trust in our financial system has been almost completely done away with, my Christian beliefs are the only thing still left in my life that is hard, concrete basis of truth for me. Believe me I know that you can no longer say that you are a Christian here in our country without some type of negative backlash, or disapproving whispers, or even the dreaded sighs and occasional eye rolling. However, after everything we have witnessed over the last several years, in my opinion, basically we are living on borrowed time. There is no time like now to say that I truly thank God for Jesus. Moreover, if there was ever a time we needed Jesus' saving grace, it is no time like the present. So in God I will trust….always!!
Have you ever tried reading the newspaper or watching the news lately? Well don’t! Please do not even bother reading about the deviant abilities of our human nature. Likewise, do not bother yourself by watching ill-willed individuals try to destroy all that is sacred.
In times as crazy and confusing like these, I am thankful for what has been instilled in me since I was a child. What is now a bad word here in America…… Christianity, at this very moment in time, is my strength!! It’s all that is tangible to me right now. It is the only thing that I can grasp onto and I know it will not fail.
I was born and raised in the Baptist faith. Although now, I consider myself more non-denominational, my Baptist roots are still there.
We who are in the Baptist faith call ourselves Baptist because we believe in John the Baptist teachings of Jesus Christ. We believe in John the Baptist ideas in the confession of Christ, repenting from sin, and submerging of the body for baptism. Baptist beleives these principles are the closest precepts to the truth regarding Christianity. The word Christian is derived from Christ aka Jesus Christ (for those of us who have not been to Church in awhile)! Christianity means we are followers of Jesus who God sent to save us from our sins.
Since the economy tanked, jobs have been destroyed, trust in our financial system has been almost completely done away with, my Christian beliefs are the only thing still left in my life that is hard, concrete basis of truth for me. Believe me I know that you can no longer say that you are a Christian here in our country without some type of negative backlash, or disapproving whispers, or even the dreaded sighs and occasional eye rolling. However, after everything we have witnessed over the last several years, in my opinion, basically we are living on borrowed time. There is no time like now to say that I truly thank God for Jesus. Moreover, if there was ever a time we needed Jesus' saving grace, it is no time like the present. So in God I will trust….always!!
RELAX ON THE RELAXERS!
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
Ladies! Relax! I mean stop relaxing…………your hair, that is.
My husband and I were settling down after a hard days work when I suddenly had an epiphany!
While randomly surfing the channels he stopped at a movie called “X”. For those of you not familiar with “X”, it was an autobiographical account of the life of Malcolm X, a non-traditional civil rights activist. The part of the movie playing at that time was concerning Malcolm X receiving a relaxer in his hair from a friend. Back then the term was called “conking” your hair. This time period at most, was no earlier than 1950 something! Anyway, Malcolm X informed his friend who was “conking” Malcolm’s hair to “get it (it-meaning his hair) really straight”.
The procedure of relaxing ethnic hair to this day has not changed at all . It is still truly a disaster. The practice of straightening hair is called relaxing; however, there is nothing relaxing about the whole entire process. First your hair is oiled with some type of highly lubricated base product comparable to Crisco, Valvoline, or something to that effect. Shortly thereafter, the relaxer itself is added. Supposedly not to your scalp, but that point is always argumentative because your scalp starts to burn immediately. This excruciating pain so often endured by women of ethnic backgrounds is only comparable to one thing I believe. That would be having a baby with no medications rendered to you at all! After sitting for awhile and receiving second and third degree burns on your scalp, it is now time to wash one of the most dangerous chemicals ever known to man out of your head. As you start your high speed run from the chair to a sink, a million thoughts race through your head. One most common thought to me during this awful process is................. WHY!
Why would we put ourselves through such a horrible process? Could it be just for the sake of beauty? More often, I believe we do it for the sake of acceptance. Our culture has long dangled between opinions of what is acceptable hair in the eyes of the public. Culture has dictated to us that there is a line between “good hair” and “bad hair”. Seemingly “good hair” is straightened, processed hair. While “bad hair” is portrayed as “kinky” or “nappy” hair.
My problem with this procedure is that we have put people on the moon in the last 50 years. We have built the most gorgeous structures known to man. We have developed inconceivable technology for our world today. Yet we cannot find a more efficient way to process ethnic hair! To me this is completely unacceptable.
So therefore ladies, I am running on the platform of “Relax on the Relaxers!” I am taking a stand. I have put the very last relaxer in my hair. I will yell this slogan from every rooftop. I will proclaim this slogan from city to city and state to state……. (well at least here in Youngstown, OH and we will see how the rest goes!-Smile.)
Things did not turn out so well with Malcolm X relaxer procedure either. This scene of Malcolm X concluded with his head starting to burn from the relaxer. However, the police department shut off the water to his house due to his criminal activity. Therefore his last resort when it came to rinsing out his relaxer was to stick his head in the only water source available to him at that time……. the commode.
To me, that sums up the whole entire process of relaxing our hair. The whole method can nowadays be flushed down the toilet!!
Ladies! Relax! I mean stop relaxing…………your hair, that is.
My husband and I were settling down after a hard days work when I suddenly had an epiphany!
While randomly surfing the channels he stopped at a movie called “X”. For those of you not familiar with “X”, it was an autobiographical account of the life of Malcolm X, a non-traditional civil rights activist. The part of the movie playing at that time was concerning Malcolm X receiving a relaxer in his hair from a friend. Back then the term was called “conking” your hair. This time period at most, was no earlier than 1950 something! Anyway, Malcolm X informed his friend who was “conking” Malcolm’s hair to “get it (it-meaning his hair) really straight”.
The procedure of relaxing ethnic hair to this day has not changed at all . It is still truly a disaster. The practice of straightening hair is called relaxing; however, there is nothing relaxing about the whole entire process. First your hair is oiled with some type of highly lubricated base product comparable to Crisco, Valvoline, or something to that effect. Shortly thereafter, the relaxer itself is added. Supposedly not to your scalp, but that point is always argumentative because your scalp starts to burn immediately. This excruciating pain so often endured by women of ethnic backgrounds is only comparable to one thing I believe. That would be having a baby with no medications rendered to you at all! After sitting for awhile and receiving second and third degree burns on your scalp, it is now time to wash one of the most dangerous chemicals ever known to man out of your head. As you start your high speed run from the chair to a sink, a million thoughts race through your head. One most common thought to me during this awful process is................. WHY!
Why would we put ourselves through such a horrible process? Could it be just for the sake of beauty? More often, I believe we do it for the sake of acceptance. Our culture has long dangled between opinions of what is acceptable hair in the eyes of the public. Culture has dictated to us that there is a line between “good hair” and “bad hair”. Seemingly “good hair” is straightened, processed hair. While “bad hair” is portrayed as “kinky” or “nappy” hair.
My problem with this procedure is that we have put people on the moon in the last 50 years. We have built the most gorgeous structures known to man. We have developed inconceivable technology for our world today. Yet we cannot find a more efficient way to process ethnic hair! To me this is completely unacceptable.
So therefore ladies, I am running on the platform of “Relax on the Relaxers!” I am taking a stand. I have put the very last relaxer in my hair. I will yell this slogan from every rooftop. I will proclaim this slogan from city to city and state to state……. (well at least here in Youngstown, OH and we will see how the rest goes!-Smile.)
Things did not turn out so well with Malcolm X relaxer procedure either. This scene of Malcolm X concluded with his head starting to burn from the relaxer. However, the police department shut off the water to his house due to his criminal activity. Therefore his last resort when it came to rinsing out his relaxer was to stick his head in the only water source available to him at that time……. the commode.
To me, that sums up the whole entire process of relaxing our hair. The whole method can nowadays be flushed down the toilet!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A HEALING FOR MY SOUL
WRITTEN BY Danica Hobbs-Reed
I am from a small town in Northeast, Ohio. I was mainly reared by a family of strong-willed African-American women…..my mother, grandmother, and aunt. I was brought up with God fearing principles and basic, decent moral values. I was shaped with undying love and strict discipline.
Out of the many things I inherited from the women in my family, two things were left out; self-esteem and self-confidence. Socially, my childhood was a disaster. I am a darker-skinned female, so for the most part, well…I’m going to stop right there (because if you were a dark –skinned women growing up especially in America, you know how the rest of the story goes)! Years of torment from other children cut hard and deep in my soul. Being told "you are too skinny", "too dark", and "too ugly" cut like a knife. Being told “you are not smart enough", “you are not good enough”, “you are not worthy enough” dampened my spirit and soul.
This experience in my childhood affected me so much. It stuck with me throughout my adult years up until very recently.
On January 20 2009, I was honored and blessed to see the most miraculous and amazing thing I probably will ever see in my lifetime. There was an intelligent, beautiful, strong, poised African-American female (dark-skinned woman mind you), whom entered into the world’s spotlight as our First Lady. Michelle Obama for the next four years, at least, will be a symbol to all women. Essentially, my hope is that when a young girl of any complexion, but especially dark skinned little girls, see Mrs. Obama, they will feel as though they are no more less than anyone else. My wish is that when a young girl looks at Mrs. Obama’s dark skin they receive strength from every being of her. I am anticipating that when little girls look at her complexion they will see a Harvard Law degree and know that she was good enough and so in turn, they are good enough to accomplish the same. I am anticipating that when little girls look at her complexion and see amazing beauty, my prayer is that they will no longer be ashamed to look in the mirror. My hope is that after seeing Mrs. Obama, young women no matter how emotionally scarred they are from their past, can take pride in knowing to not let other people define them. My prayer is that these young women will know they are beautiful and smart and can accomplish any and everything.
For all intents and purposes, my experience watching Michelle Obama on January 20, 2009 was almost like my redemption. I myself, after watching her felt as though it was the best therapy I could ever have received……..for free! It was truly a healing for my soul!
I am from a small town in Northeast, Ohio. I was mainly reared by a family of strong-willed African-American women…..my mother, grandmother, and aunt. I was brought up with God fearing principles and basic, decent moral values. I was shaped with undying love and strict discipline.
Out of the many things I inherited from the women in my family, two things were left out; self-esteem and self-confidence. Socially, my childhood was a disaster. I am a darker-skinned female, so for the most part, well…I’m going to stop right there (because if you were a dark –skinned women growing up especially in America, you know how the rest of the story goes)! Years of torment from other children cut hard and deep in my soul. Being told "you are too skinny", "too dark", and "too ugly" cut like a knife. Being told “you are not smart enough", “you are not good enough”, “you are not worthy enough” dampened my spirit and soul.
This experience in my childhood affected me so much. It stuck with me throughout my adult years up until very recently.
On January 20 2009, I was honored and blessed to see the most miraculous and amazing thing I probably will ever see in my lifetime. There was an intelligent, beautiful, strong, poised African-American female (dark-skinned woman mind you), whom entered into the world’s spotlight as our First Lady. Michelle Obama for the next four years, at least, will be a symbol to all women. Essentially, my hope is that when a young girl of any complexion, but especially dark skinned little girls, see Mrs. Obama, they will feel as though they are no more less than anyone else. My wish is that when a young girl looks at Mrs. Obama’s dark skin they receive strength from every being of her. I am anticipating that when little girls look at her complexion they will see a Harvard Law degree and know that she was good enough and so in turn, they are good enough to accomplish the same. I am anticipating that when little girls look at her complexion and see amazing beauty, my prayer is that they will no longer be ashamed to look in the mirror. My hope is that after seeing Mrs. Obama, young women no matter how emotionally scarred they are from their past, can take pride in knowing to not let other people define them. My prayer is that these young women will know they are beautiful and smart and can accomplish any and everything.
For all intents and purposes, my experience watching Michelle Obama on January 20, 2009 was almost like my redemption. I myself, after watching her felt as though it was the best therapy I could ever have received……..for free! It was truly a healing for my soul!
TEENAGERS: You Can't Live With Them and You Can't Lock Them In The Basement!!
Written by Danica Hobbs-Reed
Okay! Go Ahead! Ask my mother. Unequivocally the answer will be Yes. I was a very good teenager, in regards to attitude that is. I did not make my mother’s life a living hell as a teenager. I sat in my room mostly, while listening to my Jodeci, Boyz II Men and Heavy D cd’s. When I would break up a with a boyfriend, so what if I ran everyone crazy with her Peobo Bryson records over and over again until my brother begged on his life for me to stop. “Can You Stop The Rain” is a wonderful break-up song!
By no means am I stating I was a perfect teenager. Situations like trying to sneak out and do things that my mother did not know about have occurred occasionally! For Instance, I told her that a boyfriend of mine lived across town, when in actuality, he lived right around the corner! When she would send me on errands to the grocery store, I would stop by his house. When I returned home she would inquire what took me so long, I would reply, “The store was soooo crowded.” Sometimes I would also tell my mother that I would be at the local library studying with my friend Nikki. When in reality we were really on the Youngstown State University college campus trying to peek at the star quarterback Ray Isaac! Did I skip my last week of high school entirely because I knew I was graduating anyway? Of course!
I am stating all of this to point out that my two teenagers are driving me crazy. Their horrific attitude’s alone is just grueling. So, therefore, I can not even fathom placing the “sneaking around” aspect of being a teenager into the whole scenario. This generation of teenagers are so distorted when it comes to their outlook and approach to life. Their attitude and demeanor shows a shallowness of major disproportion. The "millennial generation" need for extreme “entitlement” (thinking that the world owes them something) is truly complex . It is a very difficult generation and culture to govern at times.
My generation was deemed “Generation X”. The media derived our name from the letter X because they felt we were a lost generation. We were thought to have no identity. It was stated that we were trying to "find ourselves". Personally, I was never lost and I do not believe that this is the case for our “millennial generation” either. I believe this generation knows exactly who they are and what they want out of life. The problem is that they are not truly aware of any other person in this life at times, except themselves. The lesson they need to learn is that the same people you step on going up, are the same people you will encounter when coming down. Their view on life must be bigger than themselves in order for them to truly succeed.
One of my grandmother’s most infamous sayings were, “You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.” Translation: You will get better results if you try to kill people with kindness than with coldness. Our generation of teenagers, on the other hand, have taken the stance that indifference is the way to success.
Why have they taken this position on life? We, as a society have instilled in our children that high accomplishment is everything and attitude is least on the moral code of standards. We have raised high achievers but low ethical mind-set individuals. You see, our society dictated to our children that you have to get A’s, but we never addressed the attitude behind the grades. It is the same principle as to why now all children receive trophy’s and awards for attending sporting activities, but their attitude’s disregard good sportsmanship. We have taught our children to win, but never taught them how to loose.
How as a society can we correct this problem of attitude with our teenagers? Well I haven’t the slightest idea! If you have some feel free to contact me!! I thought locking them in the basement until the end of puberty was a good start, but I heard it is against the law here in northeast Ohio. (Laugh!)
Grandma would also state at times, “A hard head makes a soft behind!” Translation: You may have to make every mistake in the book before you learn your lesson in life! In lieu of grandma’s advice, maybe just prayer and faith for this generation of teenagers on behalf of their view on life is the best advice for them altogether. I guess we will just have to wait and see how it all turns out!
Okay! Go Ahead! Ask my mother. Unequivocally the answer will be Yes. I was a very good teenager, in regards to attitude that is. I did not make my mother’s life a living hell as a teenager. I sat in my room mostly, while listening to my Jodeci, Boyz II Men and Heavy D cd’s. When I would break up a with a boyfriend, so what if I ran everyone crazy with her Peobo Bryson records over and over again until my brother begged on his life for me to stop. “Can You Stop The Rain” is a wonderful break-up song!
By no means am I stating I was a perfect teenager. Situations like trying to sneak out and do things that my mother did not know about have occurred occasionally! For Instance, I told her that a boyfriend of mine lived across town, when in actuality, he lived right around the corner! When she would send me on errands to the grocery store, I would stop by his house. When I returned home she would inquire what took me so long, I would reply, “The store was soooo crowded.” Sometimes I would also tell my mother that I would be at the local library studying with my friend Nikki. When in reality we were really on the Youngstown State University college campus trying to peek at the star quarterback Ray Isaac! Did I skip my last week of high school entirely because I knew I was graduating anyway? Of course!
I am stating all of this to point out that my two teenagers are driving me crazy. Their horrific attitude’s alone is just grueling. So, therefore, I can not even fathom placing the “sneaking around” aspect of being a teenager into the whole scenario. This generation of teenagers are so distorted when it comes to their outlook and approach to life. Their attitude and demeanor shows a shallowness of major disproportion. The "millennial generation" need for extreme “entitlement” (thinking that the world owes them something) is truly complex . It is a very difficult generation and culture to govern at times.
My generation was deemed “Generation X”. The media derived our name from the letter X because they felt we were a lost generation. We were thought to have no identity. It was stated that we were trying to "find ourselves". Personally, I was never lost and I do not believe that this is the case for our “millennial generation” either. I believe this generation knows exactly who they are and what they want out of life. The problem is that they are not truly aware of any other person in this life at times, except themselves. The lesson they need to learn is that the same people you step on going up, are the same people you will encounter when coming down. Their view on life must be bigger than themselves in order for them to truly succeed.
One of my grandmother’s most infamous sayings were, “You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.” Translation: You will get better results if you try to kill people with kindness than with coldness. Our generation of teenagers, on the other hand, have taken the stance that indifference is the way to success.
Why have they taken this position on life? We, as a society have instilled in our children that high accomplishment is everything and attitude is least on the moral code of standards. We have raised high achievers but low ethical mind-set individuals. You see, our society dictated to our children that you have to get A’s, but we never addressed the attitude behind the grades. It is the same principle as to why now all children receive trophy’s and awards for attending sporting activities, but their attitude’s disregard good sportsmanship. We have taught our children to win, but never taught them how to loose.
How as a society can we correct this problem of attitude with our teenagers? Well I haven’t the slightest idea! If you have some feel free to contact me!! I thought locking them in the basement until the end of puberty was a good start, but I heard it is against the law here in northeast Ohio. (Laugh!)
Grandma would also state at times, “A hard head makes a soft behind!” Translation: You may have to make every mistake in the book before you learn your lesson in life! In lieu of grandma’s advice, maybe just prayer and faith for this generation of teenagers on behalf of their view on life is the best advice for them altogether. I guess we will just have to wait and see how it all turns out!
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